23 days

I was so afraid last night..

The moment I step into the MIEC, I couldn’t think of anything…

I am totally afraid.

And feels like I am alone..

All by myself.

Looking at the press centre..

All has been set up..

Except for few minor things

It is beautiful.

And hope its working… haha

Woooaaaahhh…

I’ll be living here for the next 23 days.

Well…I got back my spirit after dinner last night..

I need the support.

I really need it..

I called my entire “comfort zone”

I seek for the advice from my colleagues..

And I’ll try to do the best…

I shouldn’t be afraid..This is it..

This is the place where my career will burst out..

This is the challenge where I could learn

This is the venue where I could

This is the life that I need to be live for the next 23days..

Again..wish me luck

And I already miss my bed in KL.

Oh..I miss Todt as well…

As always…

Good luck to me J

Afraid

Two days left before I go..

Langkawi

Supposedly all of us should be in Langkawi by today..

But due to the uncertain decisions and so on and so forth..

There you go..

From MAS to Firefly..

We are leaving on the 20th evening.

Preparation?

Almost done.

I am afraid..

I am scared..

I hope things will be fine..

Dup dap dup dap..

This is the biggest thing that I ever done in my entire career.(which is just started)

Sigh..

I am praying to god to help me..

Hurmmm.....

Mari doakan saya supaya semuanya berjalan lancar...

Insy'allah..

When you are stuck in the middle

Honestly,

When you are stuck..You are seriously don't know what to do or what to say.

Blank.

Because of the pressure that you get may lead to your outrageous behavior

and you are starting to be "NOT YOURSELF"

That is what I am facing now.

I don't want to loose it.

Not even right or left..

Not even front or back..

The jealousy by looking at normal people always come to my mind.

Always.

Like everyday.

Sigh..

I hope I may find the right path and God will help me to show the right way of doing in.

I want to be out from the whole uncertain scenario like now.

Really

Coz I am seriously do not know how to act and what to do..even what to say..

No one could understand..

Its just me...

me..

and me...

I don't fancy this situation.

Really...

and I don't want to loose what/who that I have in my life at this very moment.

Haiiiiiihhhhh...

P/s: No advice needed. Just be "kesian" and please pray for me to go tru this. =(

Be careful of what you wish for

Look at the above subject.

It is smacking me direct to my face now.

Padan muka aku.

Tapi macam kesian sikit la..

Menyesal?

Kind off..

But I have to stay..for the sake of experience.

Seriously...

Doa2kan everything will be ok.

Insyallah...

I'll do my best to make sure everything will be ok.

Heh!

Aku tak paham kenapa manusia susah nak senyum.

Kalau pun ada masalah ....tak perlu nak bagitahu semua orang dengan cara mempamerkan muka yang buruknya kalah cam taik!

Menyumpah je dalam hati bila tengok boss yang mukanya tak pernah senyum.

We do understand that you are facing the biggest problem on earth..but you don't have to show it to your employees ALL the TIME!

Muka takde rezeki.

Oh, come on.

If you don't like your worker...you can straight away hand them the termination letter or kick them out from the office..

Why can't you do that?

Time limit rite?

Of you let them go..you may get someone who is much better than them..but you will face the same problem all over again..

Muka kasi neutral sket la..

Tak mau main pilih bulu...

The strength of the company comes from the people...

Be nice and treat them fair....

You'll be loved by your people and your reputation will be above the ordinary standard!

I wish that I will not be that kind of boss and hope I could control my emotion and treat my co-worker fairly.

If I don't like them.. wouldn't offer them the position..As easy as that!

Ok..I just wish this whole "pening kepala" will be end soon. as soon as it can be!

I just need the experience to boost up my resume! Thats all kot?!??

God...help me!!!

Hehh nya rasaaaaa!!! Tukang cucuk2 kat opis ni nak kena bakar punggung diorg kot?!

Heh!

Almost there

By looking at the table calendar on my right side...

I was wondering..

There are only 8 days left before I am leaving KL and start my hell wire journey in Langkawi.

Ok..Time flies so fast eh?

There are still too many things to finish and yet I am not preparing my mental 100% to be there.

It is lunch time and I am sitting at my small cubicle writing some story which no one could understand.

Haha..

I don't feel the excitement of going to Langkawi.

Even I'll be living in a so called well-known hotel there for plusminus 23 days..

I just lost the feelings.

It is almost there.

The international event of the year will be happened there.(Even, this event is sharing the date with Monsoon Cup in KT).. Heheh..

The real of unleashed experience will be happened.

Sighh...

I don't know what I am doing now.

Today..so fcukin blur and so freakin sleepy.

M- thats the word.

I feel like hugging Todt erat2 now.

Kiss him like crazy and I miss my bed. Seriously...

Oh..my parents house in JB too- that is where the peace can be found! Betul!

What do I want now?

Uh...I don't know...

See? The work pressure can effect your whole life tuhhh..

Can't wait for this event will be finished.

Cepat2 laaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Haihhhhh

Mood

I am calling myself crazy now.

Marah tak tentu pasal..

Naik angin kalahkan lembu yang nampak kain merah..

What a life...

Haihh..

The tablets needs to be blamed.

I am a very moody person now.

Tantrum all the way..

Sikit punya hal pun oleh jadi besar

Cehh..

The tablet..

I don't want to have my period during the LIMA event.

That is why I am taking the tablet.

Macam haram- Thats how I feel now.

I am cursing all the time..

Plus with the uncertain scenario that is happening in my life now..

Its adding the anger into my life.

People around me starting to hate the attitude.

I know..

I am sorry... :(

Really I am..

Well..life sucks currently.

Really.

I should attend the anger management class or stop taking the pill.

Uwaaa...I dont wanna get my bendera merah during the event.Its really disturbing...

Haihhh...

God,help!

What/Who do I miss the most?

I am in the office on Saturday evening..

Preparing for a lot of things but seriously taking sometimes to relax..

and I am writing something here.

What/Who do I miss the most?

1. My home in Johor Bahru

Even its small...But I can feel the love everywhere..

2. My parents

Mak..abah...the most precious people in my life. I am missing them now..

3. Mohd Fardan Idani

The love of my life. The one and only nephew who always makes us laugh.

4. My siblings

Kaklong-Ngah and my younger sister-Syikin. Even they are annoying..but I am missing the "annoying' time with them.

5. My peace of mind

Which I didnt even get it for the past how many months..

6. My stable relationship.

This is another subject which hard to explain..:(

7. My close friends

Best friends..close friends and some friends who I always ignore for months!

8. My reading time

I do not even have my bedtime reading time anymore!

Sigh..If I try to finish up this list..I bet all my work will be highlighted as "PENDING" and I'll get the "bang bang boom" from the boss..

Who wants it?

Not me definitely...

And thats it for now..

Will be continued..

Enjoy your weekends guys!

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need my precious, fun and horey horey Life back!!!

=(

Officially 24

Nov 4.

I am 24.

Even I did not even wish for any gifts, but I still received presents.

Yeay!

I received like puluhan sms-es.

Puluhan of wishes on fb

Few phone calls from loved ones

and few messages via email and facebook.

I never thought people even remember the existent of me.

But really appreciate the wishes from everybody...

Its really something :)

Thanks guys!

Happy 24th birthday to me.

Nov 4, 2009.

As at 7.15 pm- I already received 75 birthday wishes on my fb wall. Heh kan? Rasa disayangi.. :)

Thank you everyone!

=)

Less than 24 hrs to reach the age of 24

It will be 24

and tomorrow will be the 4th.

Its 1.45 pm on 3rd Nov.

I am writing for the sake of blurting out the feelings as a 23 years old girl before the numbers change to 24.

Whats with the numbers?

24 years equivalent to 8760 000 days.

It is quite a numbers eh.

Uhuk2 *coughing badly*

I am losing weight..a lot of people says that..

I am getting slimmer..not in a healthy way

I am losing my appetite..

I am smoking too much...until I am stuck with bad cough like now

I am dealing with lots of things which no one could ever imagine...worst!

Soal hati dan perasaan sangat subjektif!

Correct?

What do I wish for my 24th Birthday?

Nothing in terms of material.

But I just want to feel happy and peace.

Thats all.

Any celebrations?

I don't know coz I am totally not in the mood for it.

Will be back tomorrow.

=)