Content. Grateful. Comfort

Hello. 

It's Friday. Another long weekend for Malaysia!

I found my own blog page while searching for my own name. What a bizarre thing to do at work while conducting research for work. lol. 😂

Hey, in 13 days I will be 37 years old!

Now how do I feel? Mixed emotions!

Why?

I never feel my 37 years. I constantly imagine myself to be 24 years old. lol.

(However, I might grow to be 29 this year.)

You you aware of how 37 normally appears? lol. I can promise you that I do not resemble the normal 37-year-old mum.

Well, these are how I'm feeling right now..

No 1. Content.

I've been happy with who I am and what I have for the past two years of my life. I do not pursue. I attract. I'll give the essential things in my life right now top priority. So stop worrying about little things. I believe that my mental health is improved by this conduct and outlook.

No 2. Grateful.

Seeing my son's face when I first wake up in the morning makes me feel blessed. Alhamdulillah, Ya Allah. The finest sensation imaginable.

One of my coworkers told me about this trick.

"You should feel thankful every morning when you first open your eyes. Why? since you are still alive!"

Exactly right. There is still time to make your life the way you want it to be while you are still living. We do that because we are human. We make plans, put in our best effort, ask God for success, and we shall succeed.

No 3. Comfort

I haven't felt this comfortable with myself in a very long time. Every time I go, I feel unfit and uncomfortable, which isn't the finest feeling in the world.

But I do think that as we get older, we learn to accept all of our shortcomings and focus on the positive aspects of ourselves.

God certainly does miracles. Anywhere I go, I feel at ease in my own skin, and I enjoy every small victory. even the smallest.

I don't pay attention to the doubters any longer.. Lantaklah korang nak cakap apa, janji tak kacau korang 😋

Anyway..

Being 37 makes me feel better in my own way, and during the previous few years, my outlook has significantly changed. It's not enough to think positively as a mantra. It's how I steer my life in a positive direction.

Even in the worst circumstances, I strive to look for the positive side of things.

I am a human after all, and I am going to make mistakes. But I don't always feel that way. Even now, I experience ups and downs.

So, let's love ourselves and our lives and #celebratesmallsuccess every day.

simply because life is short.

All of you have a blessed weekend and may Allah be with you!

I'll be back shortly, p.s. Could it be in 13 days? 😘

💓, Lea

Vulnerability

Hello there!

Here we are again. It's 2022. 

Ramadan is here. First day of fasting is in fact started today.

How do I feel? Nervous. But had to go through it anyway. I am praying to Allah for an easy first day. Despite actively involved with IF on daily basis. This Ramadan fasting is totally a different ball game. But, nawaitu is important. I just have to do my best.

At 3 am in the morning, I just want to ramble about vulnerability.

I hate to say this, but i rarely being vulnerable with a lot of people these days.

Even people said showing vulnerability  is not a sign of weakness.

Putting down the 'I am strong' crown aside when being vulnerable is something that I am really careful about.

Life experiences made me feel this way.

Tonight, I have shown my vulnerability.

Not regretting it at all. But, I had  to question myself when I was driving back home after that.

Why do I do that? Why showing vulnerability?

What is the expectation?

Obviously, the response I got by being vulnerable doesn't meet my expectations.

Again, not regretting the act.  But, I just put my two foot down. Clearing the unfinished business in my mind.

I think I lost my 'daredevil' spot at this age.

Totally forgot when was the last time I did that.

How do I feel after  being vulnerable and received the response?

I don't know. Should I continue the effort? I don't know. Should I let it go? I don't know. Does my crown cracked? I don't know. Does my ego bruised? I don't know

Come to the extend, I felt that I lost control by being vulnerable tonight. Why did I do that tho?  Lol.

But one thing for sure is, I like the relief sensation after pouring out whatever that I feel.

Hey, the feeling wasn't that bad. I guess. 

At least I took it out from my system and have clear senses after that.

Sometimes, I am just tired to have to be strong all the time.  Here you go..being vulnerable. Lol

So  I guess being vulnerable is something that I should do more at the right time and perfect moment. Practice makes perfect. 

Still, not regretting it. I am proud of myself that I have elevate to the next level. Opening up and own the feeling. Something that I don't know i will do it again very soon. It's Just feel so weird. lol 

Bear in mind, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness.

Have a blessed Ramadan everyone. 

Till we meet again soon.