1st gateway in 2011

31st Jan to 4th Feb 2011

Can't wait for the distress session with fun people!

Can't wait!

Take a good care of yourself people and lets enjoy the holiday!

About me on FB dated 25th January 2010

Its hard to say especially to mention and to tell.

-A person with a very bad judgement and always makes the same mistake twice or trice.

- A person who is lost faith in herself and always trying hard to get it back.

- A person who believes in "laughter is the best medicine"

- A person who is stubborn and always wanted to do it in her own way.

- A person who always care for some of her friends and trying hard to be there for them when needed.

- A person who always think of "people's perception" but still doing in her "own way"

- A person who always having a financial disable when comes to the middle of the month (oi! who doesnt oi!)

- A person who always trying to understand but yet couldn't understand some of the things in her life

- A person who loves to sleep, smoke and eat. =)

- A person who always talk nonsense and non- stop talking.

- A person who doesn't believe in LOVE but always believe in affection,responsibility, routine and future.

Heh?

Let It Go

Let It Go - Three words that easy to say but hard to digest.

To let go, its really hard.

I used to attached with this place very much.

Too many memories we had together.

Even most of it are not so pleasant.

I passed the bunch of keys to the owner on last weekend.

My heart cried loudly.

I remember when we first met a year ago.

I cleaned it up by myself.

I painted some walls with some help by friends.

I swept the floor

I decorated it

I laughed with it

I cried with it

I smiled with it

The emotion attachment was so strong until I couldn't afford to live with it anymore.

For the sake of my future (which I do not know whether I have it or not)

The overall view

The hall where me and friends laugh, had heart -to-heart session, watched dvd and this is where I always sleep.

The exact location where all the bad things started.

The front view

Goodbye home.

Goodbye memories.

My Scenery for 5 or 6 days a week.

I am glad that I found peace by looking at those people's face in that photos everyday.

I wish that I cud place more photos of people that I love there really soon.

=)

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Wee wee!

I am lucky to have you around. Thank you for the help, wee wee!

May you be blessed all the way.
Love you!

*cant wait to see you in that uniform! ;-)

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

The results of NO rice and MUNCH the celery

This picture was taken last week.
15th January 2011 to be exact.

I can see the effectiveness of not eating rice for one month and make celery as my munching food.
The "post-incident body" was really killing my self esteem. Therefore, I guess something need to be done.
I don't know about others but for me, I could live without rice nowadays.
And celery is kinda yummy actually.

The dress in the picture is one of the dresses that someone bought for me back in 2007!
I am still be able to fit into it in 2011 =)

Fantastico!
=)

Sekalung Budi Seikhlas diri.

Sekalung Budi buat insan-insan yang berada di sisi sewaktu terlantar diatas katil hospital selepas kejadian 11.10.10

Nene and Olin- Kalau korang takde after the incident- siapa lagi nak hantar aku g hospital masa tu? =) Terima kasih banyak2.

Yuz- Thank you for always being there for me

Malique Manson - Manusia yang paling banyak tolong. =)

Anie Kamarudin- She is part of me :) Thank you wee wee for the help.

Ayu (kawan Wee wee)- Sorry, tak pasal2 u kena dragged tgk I kat hospital :( Thank you

Shasha Samin- Thank you sebab datang jenguk I

Faryn(Budak kejam suka conteng) - Antara manusia yang terawal jumpa dan menenangkan aku lepas kejadian. Cantik gambar aku lepas kena kelar eh! :)

Sarah Nabila- Dua malam datang dengan dinner..aku appreciate sayangku Cikna!

Aisya Rahman- Sanggup amik EL dan jaga aku sementara nak pergi operation :) Thank u banyak2 pam!

Sabrina Aziz- Mini kepam , teman pergi hisap rokok depan hospital. Thank u for the support. :)

My SAA Team and Partners (Istal,Sarah,Ajlaa,Encik Azizul,Spencer,Iqbal,Coco,Nazita,Muntip,Nisha,Mala,Sharon, Suresh,Nurul Abdul Wahab, Jehan Miskin, Joanna , Darul, Fahmi and all)- Thank you for being supportive and thank you for the concern.

Shiekin- Dari jauh hati menangis. Aku ok lah! Aku sayang kau. =) Kan kat JB da berpeluk sayang?

Namasaya Norli- Terima kasih sebab sanggup datang walaupun kau jauh di Bangi dan terpaksalah Adib serta Kak ngah di"drag"kan sekali utk melawat aku. =)

Shahrol Izwan- Tak terkata sebab sedih tengok aku yang terbaring masa tu. Kite ok la :) Terima kasih sebab datang dua ari jenguk kite :)

Lini & Haris- 1st time jumpa Harris dengan keadaan aku yang tak berapa macam org :) Thank you Lini sebab amik EL ari tu utk jenguk aku :) Sayang kau!

Lis & Wawa - Kita jarang jumpa, tapi aku bahagia bila korang dtg melawat. :)

Rin a.k.a Cik Lana- Thank you sebab datang dan jenguk aku :)

Sham TPG and Intan Mahsuri- Bonding session Sham dengan abah aku buat aku gelak pecah perut dan lupakan sakit dalaman. IM - thank you sebab datang jenguk aku.

Yan Budak Hijau - Walau tak rapat sangat, tapi kelapangan kau utk datang sangat aku hargai

Rara & Hafizan- Thank you sebab datang jenguk aku..:)

Keril- By listening to you everynite before I took the Xanax- its a great gift from Him until I couldnt event meet you and we can't even be friends anymore. Sorry for the hassles. You always be in my heart ;)

Nazrin & Akma- Thank you banyak2.. Chimpmunk tu ada lagi kat uma =)

Nadja & Stuart - Belon tu penyejuk ati =) Thank you

Tina- datang masa aku tido kat hospital- Sorry. Letih :( Thanks for coming.

Sedara mara, sepupu sepapat- Your support are appreciated.

Tuan rumah - Terima kasih kerana memahami :)

Mak ,abah ,Keen ,Ngah ,Kaklong and Todt-May God help you with his love all the time.

Mungkin ramai lagi manusia yang aku terlupa nak ucap terima kasih..

Tapi, sekalung ingatan dan seikhlas penghargaan buat manusia -manusia yang sentiasa mendoakan kesihatan aku tak kiralah melalui telefon/sms/facebook/email etc.=)

Tomorrow- 11th Jan 2011 (3rd monthlysary after the incident)

May God always be with us. =)

Follow me...will you?

Leaanif

Sakit.

Awal-awal tahun da nampak "sakit" yang nak mengiringi aku sepanjang tahun.

Ada 12 bulan lagi nak menghadap.

Kau pernah tahu rasa aku macam mana?

Cakaplah aku drama..emo..segala.

Aku peduli apa!

Pernah kau rasa macam aku?

Tak pernah.

Tak ada apa yang mampu menggembirakan hati kau macam dulu.

Happy just not exist anymore in the circle of heart.

Pernah rasa hidup takde cita2?

Pernah rasa hidup "jalan terus" takde harapan?

Pernah rasa malu nak mintak apa2 dengan tuhan sebab kau manusia khilaf dan banyak dosa?

Pernah rasa redha aje dengan apa yang kau lalui hari-hari?

Penah rasa malas nak plan apa2 lagi dalam hidup kau?

Pernah tak?

Kalau pernah- mungkin sementara.

Aku yang akan rasa selama-lamanya.

Drama kau tak sama dengan drama aku.

Badan aku sakit. bengkak kat belakang.

Tumit aku rasa macam kena cucuk-cucuk dengan kaca pecah.

Hati aku pecah aku tolak tepi.

Sebab aku rasa ada lagi banyak hati yang pecah berderai teruk dari aku.

Dalam hidup kena ada satu pegangan.

Iaitu Tuhan.

Dia akan tolong kau macammana sekalipun

Kau kena percaya tu.

Sebab tak ada siapa akan tolong kau selain dari dia.

Bila mati pun kau sorang-sorang kan?

Bukan ada yang teman.

Aku emosional melampau sebab masa mensturasi da nak sampai ditambah dengan hati yang sakit dan badan yang bisa-bisa.

Tolong layankan.

=)

New Year's Resolution Sucks!

True!

I wonder why do we need a resolution every new year?

Are you guys following the path to it?

Mostly?

No.

As for a person who doesn't have an expectations, hopes or dreams definitely no new year resolution for me at all.

Its a total nonsense.

Well,

I celebrated my new year with office colleagues in Cherating.

Yup, they are part of my family besides other close friends.

It was a nice vacation except for certain drama from some people.

Yet, I wouldn't want to think of that anymore.

Starting my Monday in the office as usual.

No different than last year.

Happily doing the tons of work and not becoming a different person than last year.

I am who I am.

With the 120inches ego in my head and so called heartless queen due to certain things,

I like to take everything- lightly.

Scared of asking more from God and afraid of asking outrageous and miracle from Him..

I want to live as usual.

Problems - Come and Go

Tears,Smile, Loud Laughs,Sorrow are always around.

Just need to be extra careful and do the same thing as usual.

Do not think that I lost my faith.

I still have it.

But bear in mind- Ask from Him wherenever appropriate ONLY!

Before ask Him..you might need to look at yourself from up to toe first..look at the mirroe and then you will know what can you wish and what could you ask.

Its just a friendly reminder as human.

We do not know what will happen next.

God will give you what you want..its just a matter of time =)

Everything has a price to pay.

Okay?

Take a good care of yourself on 2011.

We shall see what will happen in the next 12 months!

Happy Monday, People!!!