Apparently, most of the negative attitudes has been associated with me for so many years.. I didn't really bother about it that much.
So, I always think that I am mean, aggressive and precisely garang.
But, recently I realised something that I have not discover about myself for so many years.
In fact, I didn't even know that I have this particular quality in myself.
I am being too nice with my surroundings. Yes! I am.
After almost 28 years living in Allah's land..I finally understand.
The attitude that I've shown to people actually its just a visor of myself.
I am particularly the most soft-hearted woman, the most caring, who easily forgive, who always said 'Its okay..or takpelah' when people stepped on me and used me whenever they want.
Just because I always prioritise other people's happiness..which I believed their smiles are matter the most and I can always be happy to see people around me to be happy even I had to makan hati or be suffered at that time.
Surprisingly, I just got to know that I always being bullied by my surroundings. Just because I want the people around me to be happy. I seldom say 'No' when people asking for help. I will always determined to fulfil the needs of people that I love in this world- with the hope that they will love me and appreciate me more. After all, life is so short..so, make as much as good deeds as you could-That is always be my motto of life.
Anyway...today, I guess I should change that perception.
I have to think more about myself.
I have to make myself happy 1st then only make other people smile.
I have to stop sacrifices for something that I shouldn't.
I have to learn how to say NO!
I have to put away some of the sympathy towards people who always asked for help.
I have to love myself more than I love anyone else in this world.
Saying something is so easy.
To execute - as a matter of fact..is really hard to do.
I am trying not to be TOO NICE now.
I always say that I am a selfish bitch who normally don't give a shit.
But somehow.. I am the most nicest person whom I ever known and I'm done being nice for people who didn't recognise the existence of me being here.
I'll try to be mean when I needed to be.
I'll try not to think about what my people will say..
I don't like to change..but I guess the changes are the reflection of what they were doing for so many years..
Do you love yourself? Yes? Really?
You better think again as I just realised that I don't love myself enough all these while.
Btw, being too nice to people doesn't really bring any good. Be mean sometimes..so you'll realised how great is the feeling of a real happiness and self satisfaction.
Afterall, people's satisfaction aren't mine anymore.. ;)
*But firstly... how to say..NO?* +_+
•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.
