150th.

This is my 150th entry. (in a smaller words)=p

I woke up quite early this morning. Slept around 12 and woke up around 6 something.

Oh..Im moving out on the 6th.

Decided last night due to the few circumstances which may lead to unnecessary difficulties later on.

I apologized to kawan2 skolah rendah. The 3 ladies for not be able to make it on the 6th for our horay2 activities. Lama betul tak jejak Sunway Lagoon.

Ampun!...

We still have the 7th kan? Heheh...

I am missing you guys.

I am missing someone and at the same time, I feel Odd to what I went through everyday.

I don't really know where it will be heading to.

Still- myself not going anywhere. Not much different that before..

I should stay calm.

Relax and execute whatever plans I have at the moment.

All that can be managed , IF I could...

*Stop my feelings from feeling that way

*Start focusing 100% on what I am going to do

*Stop all the hopes

*Stop all the desire

and

*Stop missing that particular person everyday.

See? Its all about feelings

Macam bodoh

Why should we as a human can't control all this?

We should be strong-Me in particular.

In order to stop all that, myself need to learn the hard way.

I am getting sick on this war.

Its not easy to face all this nonsense.

I am not that strong-yet I am not that stupid by not to think about it.

Emotions and mind.

Related to each other.

Strong bonding.

How to divide it?

In my 150th entry- I am still writing about feelings.

Too many "Lara" than "Suka"

and yet it is still about Lea. =)

I am waiting for sun to shine on me...

Please!

Emo sangat kot ? ;P

Phone calls

I received few phone calls from people who I havent heard in quite sometimes.
*Exhales*

Unexpected calls from some people who I missed sometimes.

Thanks for calling.
Really appriciate it.
Me hold no grudge anymore.
=)

*I missed the cupcakes also*

Another last day..

Few months back- I wrote the similiar subject.
After all the hardwork and hectic days,
There it goes- my another last day.

Few months here-
I really learn a lot.
With the hectic job- I finally made it.
Went tru the obstacles which I guess it is worth of a lifetime. =)

I am much confident afterall..
With the small and little experience, I believe that I would achieve more in the future.

Friends -come and go
Officemate- here and there
Bosses- now or never
Experience- money can't buy.

I am glad
Two weeks notice has been served.
Yup!
Leaving all the good and bad memomries with the LIMA '09 organiser
Sad? A little.
I am just going to miss the good moments here.

Life goes on.
So does the money!
Hahaha..

I need more exposure and more money plus more people who appriciate me in my career.
Job hopper? You could call me that.
I couldn't careless because I know how far can I go and I seriously understand what I am capable to do to achieve something better in my life.

Thanks to everybody.
Thanks to the bosses.
Thanks to my collegues
Thanks to sang bekas kekasih
Thanks to friends wherever you are
and
Thanks to my family

You guys has been very supportive since day one.
Even by reading to all the craps that has been written here or listening to the cakimaki dan complaints and by giving the ideas when I'm stuck somewhere...
You guys rocks!

It helps. Seriously.

Again, I am moving one step ahead.Hope things will be better soon. Insyaallah..
So, wish me luck! =)

* alia signing off from the office*

Cerita,berita dan airmata

Sejak petang tadi emosi tak tentu arah.
Menghabiskan masa di office yang akan aku tinggalkan. Derita rasa nak balik rumah sorang2
Macam2 berita masuk ke telinga.
Telefon berdering2..
Sms masuk keluar..
Hati tak keruan.

Family comes first.
Family is the basic foundation in life.

Aku tak pernah amik peduli sangat dengan pernyataan diatas.
I used to be selfish!
Aku tak heran sangat dengan mak abah..
Adik beradik punya attitude yang kadang2 membuatkan aku naik angin satu badan- selalu aku abaikan.
Hidup aku - aku punya cerita.
Teruk kan?

Semenjak jadi baik ni - balik kepangkuan jalan- bak kata mummy Todt ;p
Apa mak abah cakap- aku dengar
Dan mak abah jugaklah yang aku junjung atas kepala dan semat dalam hati.
Adik beradik lah tunjang kekuatan selain daripada Todt- anak buah kesayangan.

Kalau nak diikutkan- dengan berita abah yang admitted kat hospital sekarang,
Maunya aku rasa nak terbang balik ke JB- la ni jugak.
Mak kata- Sabar...
Lagipun esok dah last day keje kat office tu.
Handover nak kena buat esok jugak.
Malam esok- ada function and harap2 jadilah plan seorang kawan yang nak teman aku balik JB esok malam. *Insyallah*
If not- esok malam atau;pun awal2 pagi aku usahakan nak balik jenguk abah..

Abah jarang sakit.
Abah selalu sihat, even batuk2 isap rokok dia tu selalu ada je bersama.
Tak heran sangat- sebab dia memang selalu batuk.
Abah kuat. Abah hebat
Aku memang bukan anak yang rapat ngn abah.
Berbual pun jarang sekali.
Semenjak dua ni je baru reti bercakap dengan abah. Itu pun pasal kerja yang bersangkut paut dengan manusia pakai uniform. Hemmm.. =P
Kalau tak, rasanya- tak borak pun kot. Aku bukan macam kaklong- yang sentiasa dihati abah dan pandai beli jiwa abah.
Aku rapat dengan mak. Walaupun dulu selalu salah faham dan jadi anak derhaka serta sering membuatkan mak mengalirkan air mata.
Teruk kan?

Tapi hari ni, giliran aku menangis macam mati laki.
Risaunya dihati- tuhan je yang tahu.
Jam sekarang pukul 3.33 pagi. Aku masih tak boleh tidur. (Masalah tidur makin menjadi2)
Hati tak senang.
Call mak berpuluh kali.
Muka abah bermain2 dalam kepala otak.

Sekarang baru nak rasa? Ha...tu la dia!
Yer.. manusia-memang begitu.
Mak kata semua ok2 je kot?! Tapi hati tetap tak tenteram.

Nasib baik ada seorang hamba Allah datang bawak pergi makan dan cuba nak tenteramkan hati aku. Terima kasih. I really appriciate the effort. =)

Aku jarang nak tunjuk sayang kat abah. Sebab dulu selalu kena belasah dan ada rasa tak puas hati bila Abah selalu menangkan Kaklong kalau aku bertarik rambut dengan dia.
Aku selalu rasa abah tak sayang aku.
Ikutkan sangat perasaan nih...=)

Semenjak dua aku rapat dengan abah..
Bila balik, kami borak sambil berasap dekat dapur.
Dah jadi geng! hehe
Abah open minded dan cita2 dia nak aku jadi pegawai tinggi kerajaan*insyallah..panjang umur abah..aku sampaikan apa yang mampu* dan selalu sokong dengan apa yang aku nak buat dalam hidup.
Abah tak cerewet dan abah sangat senang nak sesuaikan diri dengan orang.
Malah, perangai "peramah" aku tu diwarisi dari abah la. Heheh..
Mak cakap- peramah sangat! Kepoh pun iye :P

Emosional betul ni.
Abah...hem...Abah dah berpuluh tahun tak admitted kat hospital.
Serius aku risau.
Aku sangat harap dapat start journey balik JB esok malam walaupun keadaan ekonomi wanita bujang ini kurang memuaskan.

Mata bengkak tatkala bertemu kawan yang berhati mulia bawak aku keluar makan tadi.
Dia kata - "Tidur awal- Letih kalau menangis banyak ni"

Semalam aku dengar cerita Na -masa arwah ayah dia meninggalkan dorang satu famili 4 tahun lepas. Sejak semalam lagi dah start emo.
Sedih.

Aku harap abah ok.
Abah hebat kan? Abah steady ...
Aku sayang abah walaupun secara zahirnya jarang aku lafazkan- tunggu setahun sekali masa mintak maaf hari raya je :P

Sekarang - time ada, sila appriciate mak bapak kita.
Nanti kalau dah takde- time tu plak sibuk nak pi Rumah Sri Kenangan, umah orang tua2- nak mintak kasih sayang dr mak bapak orang lain... Heheh.. Tak ke rugi tu?
Hem...
Doakan aku ditemani kawan yang baik hati itu untuk balik ke JB esok malam eh

Alia sayang abah. Banyak

*Favourite pic aku dengan Abah masa umur 4 tahun*

Selepas 17 tahun dari gambar diatas -*Abah-aku-mak @ LUCT Graduation ceremony 2008* Aku ingat lagi ,abah nangis peluk aku masa graduation ni. Abah tak pernah percaya yang aku boleh habiskan belajar- sebab aku banyak main! Hehehe...
Tapi abah selalu sokong dan sangat boleh berkompromi.

Aku sayang mak dan abah. =(