Looked up to the sky and wondering.
What if..and what if
Looking through the sliding door and thinking..
What if and what if
Too many what ifs has been playing on the back of my head since the divorce proceeding finalised.
Life has been a hell of rollercoaster ride for me since 1st February 2019.
Living day by day. Taking one steps at a time has been a mantra for me.
Sometimes, I feel like at the peak of the mountain.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm far deep inside the sea.
Percaya kepada qada' dab qadar Allah.
That's the Rukun Iman that I have to obey.
Another divorced case I heard to today.
While I am dealing with my own tangled life, a friend is going thru a divorce as well.
What on the earth has happened?
The big word D is something that I really hate to hear.
To my friend and the rest of human who is going thru a divorce stage..remember, we are in the same boat.
You are not alone and trust God's plan.
I am waiting for the miracle. Good things will happen and I believe that.
But now, I am down with sickness for the past 2 days.
Post divorce sickness I think?
It's been the 4th month..
I am still struggling. Really.
Ramadan is coming. Insyallah things will be better. ❤️
Best of luck to everyone.
Lea
Friday, May 3, 2019
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Who knows the future?
Yes. 2 years since the last posting published here
2019 marks the 10th year anniversary of this blog. Congratulations, eh? 😂
Well, we don't know what the future holds..we never know what will happen even in the next seconds, minutes or even hour.
Quite frightening, kan? But somehow I learn how to let it go.
Newsflash! Not so much of newsflash, I think as I have opening up to more than hundreds of people via social media about it.
Here I am in Perth. First working trip of being single and back in the dating pool after so long. LOL.
Not a very proud of it. Never thought it's going to happen to me. Never know what was written by Allah to me until it arrived.
How do I feel? It such a mix feelings. Obviously sad..too sad too tell anyone and I managed to shield it with my outrageous laugh and smile.
This is an emotional rollercoaster which I did not signed up for. But was asked to ride on it. Never think of being divorced. Never think that someone I was crazily about since 7 years ago had let me go. Never planned anything to be back as a single woman with the best baggage in my life.
Do you think I want all these to happened? Do you think I am happy?
Do you think that I find it funny even I am laughing at even the simplest jokes?
Never.
But one thing I realised that..I feel relief.
What happened behind the curtains of our marriage, need not to be told here. Not important. Really.
But I am picking up pieces of my heart which are now scattered around places that I never know it exist.
We went thru this far (not that far..but still far jugak lah 😊)
The path is no longer the same for both of us...
Blamed it on anyone of us doesn't bring any good for our kid (s)
I have Zafeer to take care of. He has Zafeer as well. We need to cooperate for Zafeer. Friends with kids kinda thing? Have you heard that before? Haha
We came to the conclusion that there's nothing else that can be done.
Words uttered can't be taken back.
The lost of heart and feeling can't be back to its old home.
We accept the fate.
As cliche as it is..Tak ada jodoh..but somehow it's true. Jodoh cukup sampai di situ 😊
I am done crying. Yes, I did cry like a lot.
It's coming to the 2nd month..and one month left before my iddah ends.
What do I feel now? Numb.
Living day by day and starting back from 0.
There's always hikmah behind this.
I believe it will come because I trust Allah's plan for me..even I do not know anything about it.
The best is yet to come. Insyallah.
Sleep tight, all. ❤️
2019 marks the 10th year anniversary of this blog. Congratulations, eh? 😂
Well, we don't know what the future holds..we never know what will happen even in the next seconds, minutes or even hour.
Quite frightening, kan? But somehow I learn how to let it go.
Newsflash! Not so much of newsflash, I think as I have opening up to more than hundreds of people via social media about it.
Here I am in Perth. First working trip of being single and back in the dating pool after so long. LOL.
Not a very proud of it. Never thought it's going to happen to me. Never know what was written by Allah to me until it arrived.
How do I feel? It such a mix feelings. Obviously sad..too sad too tell anyone and I managed to shield it with my outrageous laugh and smile.
This is an emotional rollercoaster which I did not signed up for. But was asked to ride on it. Never think of being divorced. Never think that someone I was crazily about since 7 years ago had let me go. Never planned anything to be back as a single woman with the best baggage in my life.
Do you think I want all these to happened? Do you think I am happy?
Do you think that I find it funny even I am laughing at even the simplest jokes?
Never.
But one thing I realised that..I feel relief.
What happened behind the curtains of our marriage, need not to be told here. Not important. Really.
But I am picking up pieces of my heart which are now scattered around places that I never know it exist.
We went thru this far (not that far..but still far jugak lah 😊)
The path is no longer the same for both of us...
Blamed it on anyone of us doesn't bring any good for our kid (s)
I have Zafeer to take care of. He has Zafeer as well. We need to cooperate for Zafeer. Friends with kids kinda thing? Have you heard that before? Haha
We came to the conclusion that there's nothing else that can be done.
Words uttered can't be taken back.
The lost of heart and feeling can't be back to its old home.
We accept the fate.
As cliche as it is..Tak ada jodoh..but somehow it's true. Jodoh cukup sampai di situ 😊
I am done crying. Yes, I did cry like a lot.
It's coming to the 2nd month..and one month left before my iddah ends.
What do I feel now? Numb.
Living day by day and starting back from 0.
There's always hikmah behind this.
I believe it will come because I trust Allah's plan for me..even I do not know anything about it.
The best is yet to come. Insyallah.
Sleep tight, all. ❤️
Thursday, September 14, 2017
This time around..
Whenever i have time to write something here, normally I am out of town.
This time around, I am in Beijing. The internet connection so slow which unable me to scroll my instagram feed. Hmm..
I was here 2 weeks ago. And i am here again since 3 nights ago till Friyay.
Big day coming for our office in China.
So, here i am.
Sleeping alone was never fun.
I miss the warmth and the soft skin of my son.
This imagination get carried away when i am away from him.
Oh yes. The husband. The one that God sent for me. Amazing man who have 1001 characters which always confuse me. Lol. Entertaining and really one of a kind. Sometimes i wonder..what is he? Is he a human or what? I even asked him..what are you? He just said his name with much pride. Elehhh!
I love them. They are part of my world. Being far from them is something that i always want to avoid. But, God knows what I need. Ya. I do need a break sometimes.
Working outstation can considered a good break for a fulltime working mom like me. Its really hard to feel relax whenever i am at home. Theres always something or somewhat need to be done.
So, here i am. On a king sized bed..like a starfish. Take it as privillege. Its not easy. Its not always fun while working outstation.
People always tend to see the fun part of it. Naik flight turun flight. Masuk hotel keluar hotel. Ya..indeed those are the best feeling when travelling for work. But, have you ever wondered the bad side of it? The workload.
The long working hours? The responsibility that you have to take.
Its not all fun..people!
This is not a holiday. This is work.
Well..i am just plain boring tonight.
I am winding down. Have to get up early tomorrow. Wish me luck this Friday!
Selamat malam.
Signing out from East Beijing. 😊
Sent from my iPhone
This time around, I am in Beijing. The internet connection so slow which unable me to scroll my instagram feed. Hmm..
I was here 2 weeks ago. And i am here again since 3 nights ago till Friyay.
Big day coming for our office in China.
So, here i am.
Sleeping alone was never fun.
I miss the warmth and the soft skin of my son.
This imagination get carried away when i am away from him.
Oh yes. The husband. The one that God sent for me. Amazing man who have 1001 characters which always confuse me. Lol. Entertaining and really one of a kind. Sometimes i wonder..what is he? Is he a human or what? I even asked him..what are you? He just said his name with much pride. Elehhh!
I love them. They are part of my world. Being far from them is something that i always want to avoid. But, God knows what I need. Ya. I do need a break sometimes.
Working outstation can considered a good break for a fulltime working mom like me. Its really hard to feel relax whenever i am at home. Theres always something or somewhat need to be done.
So, here i am. On a king sized bed..like a starfish. Take it as privillege. Its not easy. Its not always fun while working outstation.
People always tend to see the fun part of it. Naik flight turun flight. Masuk hotel keluar hotel. Ya..indeed those are the best feeling when travelling for work. But, have you ever wondered the bad side of it? The workload.
The long working hours? The responsibility that you have to take.
Its not all fun..people!
This is not a holiday. This is work.
Well..i am just plain boring tonight.
I am winding down. Have to get up early tomorrow. Wish me luck this Friday!
Selamat malam.
Signing out from East Beijing. 😊
Sent from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
The last day of February
What i have learned on the last day of February in 2017 in my life?
1. Trust is mend to be broken? I dont know.
2. Life is short. But you may plan your life wisely.
3. Do not waste food. Yes. I fried the tenggiri after 1 week + in the freezer.
4. Be thankful on what you have now. My son is getting well.
5. Sadaqah can comes in many form. Yay! I have finally get the 4th anak susuan tonight.
6. You are naive before. Dont be too hard on yourself.
7. Sajadah is the best mat in the world. My babysister brought me the thick one last weekend. :)
8. Be forgiven to all the misjudgement in your younger days. Still trying.
9. Betrayal is one of a biggest form of a heartbreak.
10. You are enough today. Be happy on yourself.
11. Forgiveness is cheap.
12. Laugh anytime. Dont take life too seriously.
13. Cry while prostrate is a very satisfying act.
14. Love deeply at anytime. To anyone. To anything.
15. Breastfeeding is a norm.
16. Always attend to yourself first. Regardless in any circumstances.
17. Respect is to be earned. Despite your position.
18. Dreams do came true.
19. Clean eating is hard when you are breastfeed . Alasan much :p
20. Life is about living. Hidup je laaahh
21. Do not suppress your emotions. Say ' fuck you ' when necessary. Lol
22. Blood is thicker than water or water is thicker than blood? Idk. No blood no water at the moment.
23. Everything in this world is on loan terms
24. Make mistake and admit. Please make sure its never be repeated trice. Hehe
25. Hard boiled eggs is a great source of protein. I am hungry all the time.
26. You are alone in your life. What? You dont realised that before?
27. My son is the reason why i am still here. This is absolutely true.
28. I am bored despite the busyness. Typical me.
29. What? It's March already? 😱
May March bring us more greatness in life.
Good night and sleep tight. 😘
Sent from my iPhone
1. Trust is mend to be broken? I dont know.
2. Life is short. But you may plan your life wisely.
3. Do not waste food. Yes. I fried the tenggiri after 1 week + in the freezer.
4. Be thankful on what you have now. My son is getting well.
5. Sadaqah can comes in many form. Yay! I have finally get the 4th anak susuan tonight.
6. You are naive before. Dont be too hard on yourself.
7. Sajadah is the best mat in the world. My babysister brought me the thick one last weekend. :)
8. Be forgiven to all the misjudgement in your younger days. Still trying.
9. Betrayal is one of a biggest form of a heartbreak.
10. You are enough today. Be happy on yourself.
11. Forgiveness is cheap.
12. Laugh anytime. Dont take life too seriously.
13. Cry while prostrate is a very satisfying act.
14. Love deeply at anytime. To anyone. To anything.
15. Breastfeeding is a norm.
16. Always attend to yourself first. Regardless in any circumstances.
17. Respect is to be earned. Despite your position.
18. Dreams do came true.
19. Clean eating is hard when you are breastfeed . Alasan much :p
20. Life is about living. Hidup je laaahh
21. Do not suppress your emotions. Say ' fuck you ' when necessary. Lol
22. Blood is thicker than water or water is thicker than blood? Idk. No blood no water at the moment.
23. Everything in this world is on loan terms
24. Make mistake and admit. Please make sure its never be repeated trice. Hehe
25. Hard boiled eggs is a great source of protein. I am hungry all the time.
26. You are alone in your life. What? You dont realised that before?
27. My son is the reason why i am still here. This is absolutely true.
28. I am bored despite the busyness. Typical me.
29. What? It's March already? 😱
May March bring us more greatness in life.
Good night and sleep tight. 😘
Sent from my iPhone
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