Oh..pity the self-pity

I had a very rough moment a week before my trip to Myanmar.
With the work load, the urgent stuff which comes from the boss who was away and had a huge difference of time zone, kelam kabutness preparing for my trip itinerary, arranging for the current checklist and etc etc..oh not forgetting, the period has also decided to drop by within the same time as well.. and yasss! The drop of milk production was adding the cherry on top of my volcano.

Sigh. Emotion wrecked. Pretty bad. Really. I blew up my tantrum like a kid who didn't get the attention that she needs while I was in the office that one day. I cried during my pumping session in the surau. My milk didn't increase, of course. My phone didn't stop beeping. My body ache and I spread the bad vibes to the entire room in the office.

I cried about 3 minutes. Then I suddenly stop.
Enough with the self pity. I havent had this kind of break down since my confinement day, I guess? No one force me to be in this situation.

Why so much pressure?
I hate self pity. I was raised without much empathy. Not even to myself. Pretty weird huh? But thats what i realised since i been married. And when talk about self pity? Ya right..it has never been practice. Not even my mother taught me so.

So, why did I cry?
The answer is easy. The pressure came because I wanted to win it all. Yes. Win it all. We women were taught that 'We can make it all happen'..'We are independent'..'We can win it all' 😜
Not to say those are wrong. But the mistake made by most women is..we take all of that phrase literally.

Win it all doesnt mean you can have it all the things in the world that you want. Independent is not meant for you to do all the house chores by your own..or keep the house spotless clean while taking care of your kids without the help of your husband. Make it all happen does not mean you must provide all the requests on your work in a ridiculous timeline.

Well, i was wrong. I lost my balance and i took all the sayings literally. Yes. Each of it. Literally. I lost in the battle given by God. I have encountered the first meltdown of 2017. Perfect way to start the new year huh?

Life must go on. Cheesy as it is. I wiped out my tears. Completed my pumping session and started my session to The One.
That was all i did before i went back into the office with a different vibes.

Two things i have learnt that day.
No.1- I can win it all (only with my own definition and help from people in my surroundings)
No.2- Self pity doesn't help much in life. I can be sad but not pity myself for nothing.

Because life is like that 😜

Oh, Happy Chinese New Year.
Have a great long weekend, people!

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Just another manic Monday

It was raining this morning.
I didnt have a good sleep for the past 3 days.
Well, to be honest ..i forgot what great sleep mean since I saw the 2 lines on the pregnancy test - which was more than a year ago.
Zafeer had a fever on Friday .Teething maybe? Not sure of what..we went to the clinic on Saturday as his temperature spiked that morning.
Ah..it was a viral fever. Glad but still worried. Thats a typical mak2 syndrome which i never fancy when it occurs.
Weekend was quite packed with family activities. Parents in law came visited us..small family gathering.. spending time with the kids..and the biggest responsibility which was taking care of my sick baby.
And when all is done..Monday has arrived. Safely.
But my week just started again.
Work days make its appearance again.
Zafeer is getting better. Work is never finish.
Family is the fundamental.
And I must find time for me and FH to huuhaa again. Yes. Its been a while since we had our night out.
Come back to reality. Monday flies so fast.
Yet, at this hour..i still need to switch on my laptop.
Manic Monday, I guess.
Just as it is.
May all of us have a pleasant week,eh?

☺
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Something gotta give

Hello 2017.
Typing this while on my way back from the airport.
Yes. Been missing for so many months from this page. I do miss writing a lot. Planning to dedicate few minutes of my time to drop by and write something- is one of
the resolution that i have..(besides trying to lose the baby weight-sighhhh)
Hows life?
Well..What i can conclude is ..
Life is life. Living day by day. Be thankful always. Strive to be better everyday.

Travelling is something that i always love. Even work that requires travel. Especially by plane. 2017- insyallah i forsee a lot of traveling for me. Yes. Work travelling.

Starts with Kuala Terengganu after 10 days of new year.
Yeah. This is life!
Yet..i am missing my baby.

So near yet seems so far. I am still in the limo and looking forward to sniff those cheeks!
Coming back home is the best feeling now.
😍

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