September whateverlah!

In between of so many events happened in my life..
I realized that over-thinking could destroy the concentration on taking care of myself.
Worrying, being in control, targets to achieve, perfection are some of  the issues that always on my mind which normally give something bad to me as a normal human being.

So, this September...I decided to leave everything to HIM on certain issues which I have tried to settle and I will try my very best to say this phrase (whenever needed)...

I was lol-ed at myself recently.

Seriously, for me to say "WHATEVERLAH!" is one of the hardest thing to do besides saying "NO" 

Note to myself and everybody - Happiness is a choice. Overthinking kills! Stop being a control freak!

Happy September, people! 3 months to 2014. Be safe!

She is 23 today? Really?

I always see her as a baby sister.

The perception has never changed since the first time we met.

I remember that I was the one who wanted a baby sister where Ngah and Kaklong wanted a younger brother. I dont know why the 5 year old me said that when we were asked by Abah years ago.. ' nak adik lelaki ke nak perempuan?' -_-''

I still remember the 1st time I saw her. She didnt even look like me. Her skin is a bit tanned.. her eyes were bigger than mine...unlike me- her hair were curly and beautiful..oh..she didnt even cry much and she was a skinny baby compared to me back then. Lol

The baby sister named 'noor ashikin' was the centre of attraction.  The jealousy was blooming in my heart.  Being the last child before she was born..I was the fav! 

But, when Abah and Mummy explained...it seems like me no longer the centre of attraction among 4 of us... sad..so sad. Yes. I was jealous and blaming myself for not choosing the same answer as kaklong and ngah - which is 'a younger brother!' and Not a baby sister! Arghh! 

However, our 5 years of age gap with the responsibility given by my parents to take care of her when Mummy has to go to work has erased the jelaousy over the time.

She grew up to become my baby sister, my closest friend, my secret keeper and someone that I know will always be there for me whenever I needed. 

We grew up together and we went thru so many stages of life due to the age gap between kaklong and ngah. She had no choice to turned to but me..hehe.  

She is matured, very independent, very witty, street-smart, patience and funny. we were born in a totally different personality. It makes us more special when she always forgot that I am her big sister since I treated her as my friend from day one we met and maybe because I refused to be called 'kakak' or 'kak chik'. Euw!

Still, she respect me as her big sister. (whenever she needed to or when I reminded her) :p

A reminder appear on my mobile and a sms reminder about her birthday from Mummy made me write this. 

As time goes by, I never know that my baby sister grew up so fast (since I never acted like 'kakak2')..she is more firm than me and has becoming a woman who always know what she wants ( ya..ya..she wants to be married and have kids- thats what I know now..eheheh)

19th August , 23 years ago.. she was born and has brought joy to our family. Shes the youngest who never acted like one.. hehe (kaklong is much manja than her). 

Happy 23rd birthday, Teacher Noor Ashikin. 

I wish you all the best in everything you do..get HIS blessing and all your wishes will come true..soon!. Insyaallah

Thank you for being the greatest baby sister and a good friend who I never thought you will be. 

I guess your presence in our life is a bless by Him. (thank God I am not the youngest..hihihi)

Again..

Happy 23rd birthday , kin!

I am so proud and feel blessed to have a sister like you in my life.

Please take care of yourself like you always do...

You may redeem your birthday present next month, okay! :p

Hope you will enjoy the day with #ptl. LoL

*#ptl - part time lover (the indication that she always use to refer to her boyfriend)..i dont think he is a part timer in her heart anymore since hari2 pergi dating jeeerr. Hihi. 

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Purple-ish

I had a very bad Monday..

Nothing has been good in office since few months back.

In fact, the situation has resulted in me losing few kilos. 

To add with other nonsense..i guess I deserved a good de-stress session for myself.

Purple is the most fav color for the time being. So, after a good hair wash..decided to do my manicure and pedicure which always been the monthly routine.

Despite of shine buffing, I asked them to paint my nails nicely.

As usual, lost appetite towards food and I feel so weak and sleepy.

Might call it a night soon!

Yes..i dont fancy Monday. Never like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and quarter of Friday..

I just love the weekend.

How was your Monday so far?

Hope its better than mine!

Friday, come faster!

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Syawal 2013

Nothing fancy. I am becoming a person who doesn't fancy Raya anymore..

Anyway.....Selamat Hari Raya!

Us,- Atuk Jah, Tengku, Abah, Kaklong, Todt, Yaya and Keen ..without Ngah...(as usual) and no more Atuk Bak in the picture.. :( We missed him..

 I feel your love- abah! :D

Tiga duri dihati Tengku. hihi

 My hijabster baby sister! love!

Its 5th Syawal..me already in the office. Le sighhhhhhh...... -_-"

Heartbreaker

Its not something that I am proud off. I am just being honest to myself and anyone related.

Who likes to be hurt? Gila! No one.

But I guess, I have to be cruel to be kind.

Since a lot has been happening for the past few months.. I guess being a heartbreaker (again) is one of the solution to clear some uncertainties.

I am not afraid of the criticism from others based on my action..its just because I do not want to be the reason of unhappiness. 

'The beginning of the end' has just began.

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

Look what stress did to me!

I love my hair very much.
Long, black and straight..
but I guess I am much in love with my new hairstyle.

Stress free much?
Lol

I feel relief and lighter.
Start to puasa again tomorrow. Yay!


Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Happiness is a choice.

I am tired of being a monologue-er.

Really.

In fact I am tired of eating up all the nonsense from the people around me.

Double sigh.

Yet, I am being too nice and has not transformed to be "meaner" like I want to.

I just cant +_+

I've  tried very hard to be mean but saying NO to my surroundings are definitely cant be done up till today.

The great feeling on earth is to see people that you love is happy.

But, by accomplishing that..I always get the heartache in return.

Yet, I cant make everybody that I love being really happy around me.

I just can't win it all.

I am very passionate and always have full determination when comes to accomplish my target.

Saying NO is not an option at all.

But, what do I received in the end.

Zero for me...Hundreds for anyone else.

Yes. yes. I am really tired indeed.

Unfortunately, I left with no choice at the moment.

I have to go through every single nonsense everyday.

Being really happy is actually something that I havent felt for a looong time in 2013.

I have to be selfish.

I need to find my happiness in whatever method that I might use.

I thought I am happy when people around me are happy.

But turns out.. I am totally wrong.

A changed in this matter are truly required a.s.a.p

Since happiness is a choice and I want to feel truly happy again.

One week after 1st Ramadan...oh, I served my cuti already. lol ^_^

Few reminders for us to be thankful

After less than a year waiting..
Ramadan Al-Mubarak has finally arrived. Alhamdulillah. Yay!
I am not too religious yet I know where I'm coming from  and what are my responsibilities as a human.

Life is never bored as we always being tested with too many issues.
As we are still alive...we are always surrounder by problems and issues that needs our attention.
Well, I am at the stage where I wanted to be in my cocoon and not to bother about other people
Which I have practiced that kind of life for sooo many months..
Not having social life and limit my circle of friends as small as I can.
That is how I deal with my life issues and turns perfectly fine (as of now)

Well, this holy month could make me realized that whatever happens, I have to be thankful to God as I am still breathing and be able to do things that I like and I am healthy!
Money could buy you happiness but there is one thing that money can't buy ... :)

Few reminders came across my mind for the past few months makes me feel that I have to think about the other side part of life.

Be nice, Lea.
Be grateful and do more good things in life as you may never know what the future holds.

Salam Ramadan to everyone.
Enjoy this +-30 days of barakah and no matter what problems you are currently encounter, please have faith as He is always be with you!:D

Oh.. Its July already?? :O

Newly discovered.

From the outside- I might look mean, aggressive and garang.
Apparently, most of the negative attitudes has been associated with me for so many years.. I didn't really bother about it that much.

So, I always think that I am mean, aggressive and precisely garang.
But, recently I realised something that I have not discover about myself for so many years.
In fact, I didn't even know that I have this particular quality in myself.

I am being too nice with my surroundings. Yes! I am.

After almost 28 years living in Allah's land..I finally understand.
The attitude that I've shown to people actually its just a visor of myself.

I am particularly the most soft-hearted woman, the most caring, who easily forgive, who always said 'Its okay..or takpelah' when people stepped on me and used me whenever they want.

Just because I always prioritise other people's happiness..which I believed their smiles are matter the most and I can always be happy to see people around me to be happy even I had to makan hati or be suffered at that time.

Surprisingly, I just got to know that I always being bullied by my surroundings. Just because I want the people around me to be happy. I seldom say 'No' when people asking for help. I will always determined to fulfil the needs of people that I love in this world- with the hope that they will love me and appreciate me more. After all, life is so short..so, make as much as good deeds as you could-That is always be my motto of life.

Anyway...today, I guess I should change that perception.
I have to think more about myself.
I have to make myself happy 1st then only make other people smile.
I have to stop sacrifices for something that I shouldn't.
I have to learn how to say NO!
I have to put away some of the sympathy towards people who always asked for help.
I have to love myself more than I love anyone else in this world.

Saying something is so easy.
To execute - as a matter of fact..is really hard to do.

I am trying not to be TOO NICE now.
I always say that I am a selfish bitch who normally don't give a shit.
But somehow.. I am the most nicest person whom I ever known and I'm done being nice for people who didn't recognise the existence of me being here.

I'll try to be mean when I needed to be.
I'll try not to think about what my people will say..
I don't like to change..but I guess the changes are the reflection of what they were doing for so many years..

Do you love yourself? Yes? Really?
You better think again as I just realised that I don't love myself enough all these while.

Btw, being too nice to people doesn't really bring any good. Be mean sometimes..so you'll realised how great is the feeling of a real happiness and self satisfaction.

Afterall, people's satisfaction aren't mine anymore.. ;)
*But firstly... how to say..NO?* +_+

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Dreams do came true.

Ya. Dreams do came true.
As example, the headband that I was wearing in the picture which specifically in purple.
Been thinking of having it since 8-9 years old and finally after 20 years...I finally get it!

Sometimes, simple things in life are the one that makes your life more meaningful.
I am currently dealing with a lot of issue..I guess everybody are also in my circle.
Life is short...really.
Just do something that makes you happy and keep it simple as much as you can.
That is what I've been doing now.

Its June..and July is just around the corner.
Be grateful and dont stress yourself with nonsense issue that doesn't bring any good.
Its easy for me to say..but I also find it hard to execute. Haha.

After all, what matters the most is we are still be able to live and He is always there for us. :)

Next- I'm gonna find this thing call "polly pocket". :P

A reminder...

Life is being bitch sometimes

But as a khalifah, we have to look at the bright side.

As cliche as it is..

exactly correct that Things happened for a reason.

Another sad news arrived yesterday..

A friend of mine, passed away in her sleep due to a heart attack. Alone.

I take it as a reminder from Allah that life is short and the world is temporarily.

All the money, the fame, the position, the beauty you have now doesn't bring you anywhere without your good deeds.

By the end of the day, you will be alone.

We will leave the world one day. Its just a matter of time...

So, we have to prepare ourselves to face the Almighty.

May all of us be blessed. Insyallah.

People, it isn't a joke.

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Great sadness

Its been a while since I write something here.

Life is being too overwhelming with a lot of things happened these days.

Sad and shocking news has been evolved around my life for so many weeks.

Well, life goes on.

God is actually tested us in so many kinds of way.

Kaklong lost her boyfriend in  such a short notice.

Her boyfriend passed away due to lung infection after 10 days in an ICU.

It happened so fat and losing someone that you love at the point where all the necessary plans made for the future...is something that myself cant accept.

He gone. She is numb and trying hard to accept this huge test from Allah.

I was wondering, how can I live if I was in her shoes?

Kaklong has been gone thru so many stages of love life.

Been divorced, being left and the latest..she lost her future husband, her companion and her best friend.

Just like that.

Life...we cant predict what will be happened next.

Sympathy..its all that we can do.

I am trying hard to lift up her spirit everyday...

Try to be someone that she can talk to...try to understands her feeling and try to be the support system for her to live and move on.

"I've lost part of my life", that particular sentence makes my heart bleed.

I do not know what-else to do, accept be with her when she needed me- virtually and via phone as we are separated by 392kms away.

I cant say I understand her feeling. No one would understand...

The devastation, the heart broken, the missing moments, the shadows and the memories..

She never been so pure and happy since Ive known her for 27++ years when she was with Arwah

Even she used to have lots of boyfriend before...Arwah is the only guy who can make her being herself and not pretentious at all.

Arwah is such a great guy to become our next brother in-law and the best candidate as abah & mummy's future menantu and a good father to Todt.

Its just...Allah is planning something good for all of us by giving us the great sadness we never feel in our lives.

I don't know what-else to say...

I still feel shocked even Arwah has left us for more than 2 weeks.

Telling kaklong to be strong-everyday, is something that I can only do.

His departure has open our eyes that life is so short...and we should be thankful to Allah, praise him and do more good deeds as much as we can...

Since...no one is going to help us down there when we leave the world.

No one...just yourself. Alone.

May all of us will be blessed by Him, always.

:)

Happpppyyy Monday!!!!

Keep calm and bla bla bla

Its 1.47 am.
I am struggling to make my eyes shut since two hours ago.
Too many issues has entered my life for the past months.
And yet, I am still smiling and trying hard to be calm.
Yea rite..but being a natural hot tempered person as I am..I guess I have failed sometimes in keeping the coolness in me.

Well..we are humans.. (Using the cliché and perfect excuse ...in order to defend myself..:p)

Too many incidents, story and nonsense has came up these days.
Pathetically, living in a singleton..I have to re strategies all short term life arrangement in order to make everyone happy and sometimes..I had to push my happiness and satisfaction a far behind.

What I realised happened to me these days..I tend to become meaner than I used to.
I'll shut anyone down if I think they do not deserve my sympathy and kindness.
I'll keep my surroundings and circle really small..
I didn't go out and socialise (which I guess I've stopped doing it for so many years)
Literally, I am in my own world where I restrict myself from encounter with another scenarios that it had to make me sacrifies for other people again.

Now, I rather keep anything to myself than telling certain people on my current issues and life.
I take all the action as another learning curve to be a better person.

...And at this particular time..I am trying hard to have a good sleep. :D

Its hard to keep yourself calm if you are being tested by too many parties in your life.
But, good things come to those who wait and have faith..passionately. :p

Have a good sleep people! Enjoy your weekend! :*

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Clean up

Today's achievement is deleting more than 600++ individual who claimed to be my friends in my facebook list.

I take that as an achievement since we might know each other as we go along the stretch of life..but somehow, I dont think we are friends in our current life.

Why should I keep all these people in my facebook list since we didnt even say hi to each other.

Not even in real life...and we dont give shit on the existent of some people in our facebook friendlist.

Correct me if I'm wrong here..

But, whatever reasons in this argument, it will not change my mind towards this issue.

Nah..I have 128 people as my facebook friends..compared to few hours ago.

700++?? Am I nuts? Do i even talk and keep in touch with these 700++ people?

I dont think so!

For some reason, as time goes by..

I realised that telling everyone about what is happening in your life doesnt make anything easier.

Tambah dosa by laughing at people status is one of the things that I do not want to do anymore. lol!

Its a process of clean up my mind and my soul towards to be a better person.

Not by posting any inspirational quotes or telling people how do I feel like I used to do...but I have to do it in my way :D

May is coming!

Oh my ...time flies...so freakin fast!

Enjoy life...be grateful, people! :D

Another Anniversary

Yesterday, marked 2 years of my employment here.
2 years is equivalent to 365days x 2 ok? Haha
15th April 2011...I still can remember the first day here..
I felt funny since I never thought that I could stay this long.

Anyway, it is still an achievement for me to be here till today.
Despite all the challenges.. I managed to prove myself and anyone that I am no longer a job hopper. LOL!
I consider myself as lucky since I was been given an opportunity to work based on my field of  qualification, to do what I love to, spread my credibility in the communication industry and to be wiser everyday.
Experience can be bought!
Looking forward for more good news and greatness in my career.
Alhamdulillah :)

The one and only

March is a very hectic month for me..
Travelled from KL to LGK..back to KL and leaving to Malacca next weekend makes me feel like the usual- 24 hours is not enough and 8 hours of sleep never satisfy me.. LOL

Alhamdulillah..I love what I do now..
Specifically refers to my job and life..
Ups and downs as I went tru it every single day has brought me to a new life experience...

Not gonna talk about work this time..
But, I am surely gonna tell you about how much I miss this guy every single day..

Looking at the old stacks photos few days back...it does bring me back to the old memories.. (I love living in a memory)

I just wanted to say that I miss him when he's still a baby..
I miss the cuteness
I miss his baby smells..
I miss him when he is still clueless..
I miss the funny thing that he did...
I just purely miss him even till now..

I am childless and I think I do understand how much a mother missing their kids and why they posted a lot of their babies photo on the social media these days. LOL.

He's just a nephew.
The one and only.
I miss you, Todt...

Yaya loves you...so very much!
•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

4am in the morning

At this moment, when my mind can't be shut down and when I personally can't close my eyes...I realised 1 thing that evolved around my life for the past few weeks.

Its already half of March in 2013. Oh..How time passed so fast..
And the only thing that evolved around is work.
Work.work.work.
I take my job seriously. (Too seriously?maybe)
Yes, as serious as I can continue working at home via my notebook everynight.
As serious as my mood went off when my notebook crashed last 2 days. (Thank God, I know how to back up the files including my emails- clueless on how to do it until I used Nina to get me to Firefox)
As serious as I've been talking about work to myself and to my people most of the time
And
As serious as I started to plan my 'To do today' checklist before I sleep...

I guess its pretty serious now since I am sooooo into my job.
Big project coming up and other sub events made me feel like 8 hours in the office is no longer sufficed.
-_-''

That is the only thing that evolved in my life as of now. Nothing else.
Until I felt that every working day is the longest day I ever had in the office and the faster I go... more things will come..and the more I want to do..
Its like the job is chasing me all effing time.

OMG..
What's with that?
I don't take it negatively even I know ... 'Its just A job'

Lifeless? Me?
Nope. I don't think that way since Abah always said..
'kerja itu adalah kehidupan'

Get the definition right, people.
Think...think..and think before you conclude that statement.

Nonetheless, thank God that I have only myself to answer to.
^_^

Perhaps, I need another short gateway?
:)
Happy weekend!


•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

13.3.13

Nothing  is special or any great occasion is happening on the date..its just another normal day at the office.

As you can see......

Its the thirteen day in the third month of two thousand and thirteen.

13.3.13

Beautiful numbers :)

Happy working and happy living!

1.3.13

Satu . Tiga . Satu tiga

Tiada apa yang istimewa dengan tarikh hari ni.

Sekadar meraikan kedatangan bulan Mac untuk tahun 2013 dengan tanpa sebarang expectation.

Rasa baru sahaja masuk tahun 2013 semalam..

Tup..tup hari ni dah 1haribulan tiga.

Masa tak tunggu kita dan makin hari makin laju rasanya.

Apa achievement sepanjang 2013?

Ada apa yang dibanggakan?

Ada apa yang ingat dikongsikan?

Ada apa yang inging diceritakan?

Tak ada apa.

Sebab setiap hari aku cuba hidup macam biasa sebab sememangnya takut hidup yang luar biasa.

A ah. Aku memang suka hidup dalam comfort zone.

Changes is not always good, right?

Hidup biasa-biasa, masih dikurniakan nikmat untuk bernafas, makan dan sempurna dimata sendiri rasanya.

Tak perlu yang susah payah sanga-sangat dan buat yang tak pasti akan dapat sampai ke tahap yang kita suka. :P

Merepek-repek dikala menunggu tamat waktu pejabat membuatkan aku sendiri blur.

Hidup ini kita yang dictate.

Kegembiraan dan ketenangan tak dapat dicapai kalau asyik amik port dengan apa orang kata.

Lantak pi lah!

Janji kita bahagia :)

Lepas geram naik rolller-coster hujung minggu ini.  

Kawasan Tanah tinggi masih lagi menjadi lokasi Destinasi "de stress" bulanan.

Kalau bulan lepas makan strawberry sampai nak muntah...kali ini kami nak bermain puas-puas.

Oh..March,please be nice! :D

Destinasi "de stress" Februari 2013. Pertama kali jejakkan kaki di sini sepanjang hampir 28 tahun di muka bumi. Alhamdulillah :) Oh..itulah "kami"- Keen, Yaya n Weewee :  Geng travel bulanan tak rasmi! 

Bertemu tanpa Berjumpa

Bertemu tanpa berjumpa.

Odd sungguh rasanya.

Tapi keistimewaan ini hanya aku dan kawan aku yang mengong ini yang tahu.

Dunia siber mampu mendekatkan yang jauh.

Mampu buat manusia ketawa walaupun tanpa suara.

Mampu juga buat manusia lupa kerja akibat lawak-lawak bangang seorang kawan.

Lama dah tak berjumpa dia..

Tapi setiap pagi..setiap hari kami bercakap macam duduk sebelah menyebelah.

Perkembangan setiap hari  tak pernah tertinggal dari borakkan kosong bak "menjual ayam sekor tapi tak  pernahnyaaaa laku"

Setiap pagi kalau dia tak ada dekat laman gmail aku, rasa macam tak lengkap

Kami berborak ikut mood.

Kadang-kadang kami ketawa

Kadang-kadang kami down

Kadang-kadang kami kutuk orang

Kadang-kadang kami gossip pasal artis

Kadang-kadang kami sentap cerita hal family

Kadang-kadang kami jadi mengong...cerita tanpa hala tuju dan diakhiri dengan GELAK.

* Kami banyak gelak dari berbual sebenarnya..cakap sikit gelak..cakap duasikit pun gelak-gelak..*

Sebenarnya hari-hari borak pun tak ada apa nak update.

Cakap yang ya yang tidak. Mengarut setiap masa.

Tapi aku suka sebab rasa berteman sentiasa.

Tapi kalau aku tak online dalam gmail, dia masuk opis pun rasa cam bosan sebab takde bahan. Kan? :P

Berkawan tak perlu berjumpa, bertunggu tangga, berpeluk bercinta setiap hari

Ingatan dan rutin itu yang menyebabkan nama pertama dicari dalam list gtalk adalah dia.

Dia ni kawan paling ego aku pernah jumpa.

Rindu aku, takpi tak mau mengaku.

Sanggup cakap "takkkkkk" panjang-panjang.

Walaupun dah berbulan tak bersua muka dan ketawa depan-depan bersama-sama

Tapi hari-hari kami bertemu.

Terima kasih teknologi.

Ye Fatin, aku tau kau rindu aku! ^_^

Kenang daku dalam doamu. 

Muehehheheheh

35 years of everything

Two days ago marked the 35 years of marriage between Sharimah and Mohd Anif.

Two strangers who came from different background, different country, different level of thinking, different perception and different in any kinds of way.

18 February 1978.

I wonder how did this 24 years old guy thinks when he married the 16 years old girl.

I amazed with their decision to live together through thick and thin, to build a family, to live together under one roof, to appreciate and accept each other ..when they were only known each other 6 months before they said 'I do'

Within that particular period, they decided to risked their life and promised to themselves that 'This is It!' and 'This is the one'

Totally amazed.

Climbing to age of 28 years old this year...up to today, I don't think I'm ready to take up the responsibility and deal with the future tests in the name of marriage. 

Especially when I had to see my sister's painful divorce and my brother half-way marriage ended. Not including my other friends and surrounding 'unhappily married' or 'pretend to be happy in the marriage for the sake of kids' or ending their 'I do' in the court.

Yes, I am sceptical and don't blame me for this kind of perspective since I've seen a lot.

Marriage is a real huge deal for me.

That is why I wonder how my parents keep up with their married life. They went through all the fun, nonsense, sad, happy, easy and rough moment up to today.

To be together for 35 years is REALLY not easy. To deal with the partner's flaws, to swallow their weakness, to accept the egos, to arrange the family, to strategies the finance, to mold the kids attitude, to sleep on the same bed for 35 years...I don't know how they've done it!

Mummy once said.. 

'It took a lot of hardwork, patience, love, courage, respect and trust in order to be this far.. and the most essential element is the communications'

I do agree with her but still it doesn't change my negative thoughts. LoL!

I am so proud to have a parents who still fight for their marriage after soooo many years. (Since it wasn't easy to hold any marriage that long these days..)

I am truly a proud daughter of them..

Despite anything, they have developed great children who +- has succeeded in life.

Happy 35th Anniversary, Mummy and Abah!

Its such a pride to see you together up till today...and Insyallah for more years to come !

Thank you for everything uve done for us all these while. Nothing can we do to repay all the good things that you both did for us..

May Allah bless both of you, our parents!

We love you so much!

*Kaklong, Ngah, Alia, Ashikin*

P/s: That above photo are taken in 1978..few months after they both got married, 35 years ago! 

  

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Saturday (very early)morning

After more than 10 hours of sleep..(It was a payback rest and quality sleep)
5.00 am- The growling stomach force me to drive myself to the nearest McDonald's.
Its still dark outside...the best thing to start my weekend is having the big breakfast alone.

Sanity. That is how I feel now.
Peaceful surroundings without anyone is the therapy of life.
No attention needed or given.
No one is bulging me around and I believe, being selfish at times is a must.

I might continue sleeping once I reach home since I already missed my bed so very much.
It will be a fine weekend. :)
Monday, delay your appearance since I don't think many people loves you as they love Saturday.

I love you, weekend!
•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Yesteryears

As I went tru my facebook newsfeed this morning, I saw few faces that makes me wonder..

Those girls used to be so "hot" , confidence, stylish and looked so glamorous during school days but now, they are just a normal ladies who trying too hard to share their life via facebook status!

I laughed alone. Especially when today, when the weather is quite gloomy and the office is pretty empty.. (some of the colleagues extended their CNY holiday breaks to the weekend)...my laughs sounds a bit loud than ordinary.

How can this happened? 

This made me think...

I was ugly during my schooldays. Believe me..you wouldn't want to see me 11 years ago.Seriously...

I wasn't really a bright student- a moderate one, has a very bad skin condition,  low self esteem and quite rough in doing things. (Still have the roughness after so many years...I think its just me born this way. lol)

I was not attractive as a lady...and I was only famous during my school days due to violation of rules or my co-curriculum activities or sports involvement.

Do you know those group of girls who was being famous since they have pretty face and being pretty?

Yes..I wasnt belong to that group. LOL.

However, today's newsfeed make me realised that 11 years after leaving the hi-school, things has changed a lot.

I wasn't really aware until saw one of the status belong to one of the famous pretty chick back in the schooldays is been telling everyone in her friend-list that she is actually having a heartbroken moment and living a hard life... OMG.. Too Much Information..I guess?

Becoming 28 this year...I was shocked to see the level of maturity showed by her.

Surprisingly, as I read her profile and her facebook activities on her wall, I was lost in translation.

The way that she portrayed herself as the victim from the unsettled love affair actually made her look like a teenage girl who doesn't know how to keep some secret to herself.  Attention seeker- to be precised.

Ah..maybe I was over-analysed. Ya ..ya ...ya..heartbroken people cant think straight! I understand. I was like that before...but, I remember the phase of over-sharing my heart broken feelings when I was younger....at least 3-4 years younger than now..

But.....at this age..-and she who used to be the centre of attraction...-and sharing her dissatisfaction on her love life.....its just like something that I don't think I can digest!

Thank God that I was immature at the proper age! LOL.

Something that I learn today is when I think again about myself 11 to 15 years ago, I used to be one particular person who always had the very low self esteem during my school days. I had becoming someone who doesn't really give shit to what people would say or think and realized that the reason I live in this world is not to be popular, glamour, adored or make people everyone happy.

The self esteem has increased and looking back to the worst old days, comparing me and the other girlish girls...I am thankful that I was ugly back then. LOL!

I had changed to become better and matured according my age level and lifestyle that I choose to live in.

Being popular and famous during schooldays will not make you grow as a successful person. Its just a phase of life that you could cherish the memories. I am sure that all the mistakes I've done throughout my yesteryear are taken as the life lesson in becoming better person everyday...

Yesterday was a Valentine's day. Since I stop celebrating it few years back..I think the above mindful thought is the greatest gift for myself in conjunction of the V day this year!

Maturity and experiences cant be bought! Live in style, have less expectation and give more attention to yourself rather than trying very hard to get attention and love from everyone. 

No one is actually love your drama! lol

Cherish the memories and I am thanking God for the opportunities! :)

Recent look

Remember this rambling write up?

After almost two years....again I am talking about the same subject. heh?

For the 1st time I think I am falling in love with my decent look.Vain much?  Really....and I am so proud of myself for be able to look damn great in a passport photo for the last 27++ years in my life. 

I am proud to present my current look which will be placed in my passport for the next 4 and a half years...

Regardless whatever people gonna say..but I believe that this is the best passport sized photo I ever had. I think I look damn innocent especially with the "bambam pipi"

Bravo! lol!

Its the Friday...Two write ups back to back are the indication that I am not so busy in the office today and looking forward to the long leave till next Thursday! 

Leaving the city to the south and back to the city again before the short holiday to the highland in the north. 

Happy Chinese New Year for those who are celebrating it...and lets enjoy the festive season!

Meet my boyfriends

Bangkok was the place where I celebrated the beginning month of February 2013.
Company trip to Bangkok, Thailand has created my version of perspective on the people, the culture, the language and the country itself.

What did I do there?
Shop. eat. pedicure.manicure. walk. walk. walk. eat. shop. shop.eat. walk etc etc etc.
By the way, I'm not gonna talk about BKK much as I don't think I have to. (Its just me being malas)


Anyway, dreams come true. Yes. If you decide to make it happen!
I've been keeping this dream for 20 years.
Since I was 8, I always wanted to visit this place where I could meet a lot of famous people and some of my idols.
And I've finally made it! (Even initially the 1st museum in London is my 1st choice..but Bangkok's has offered the similar scenarios also my company has sent us to Bangkok and NOT London..what else should I say eh? :P)

Madame Tussauds, Bangkok.

I've finally met my boyfriends here. LOL!

Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham. Ehem..

(Excuse me for the vulgar poses as I was too excited meeting them for the 1st time!)

I cant even remember how many photos did I took with more than 90 figures of great names on earth.

And I don't think its great to upload it here. Haha. 

The best thing is..I've made a new album full of my photos and actions with the wax figures on my facebook page after so long not being so active. Its just because of the dream that came true.

Well.. Madame Tussauds London and HongKong...we'll meet soon!??

1st Monday Blues of 2013

Here we go again..

After so many weeks without the attacks of the 'blues'..

I'm under attack now.

Now..yes..I mean now.

After so many days spent outside the office, the Monday blues hit me right on the spot.

This morning, 'waking up in the wrong side of the bed' makes me suddenly not in the positive mood ...that was what I thought..

However, it getting worst with some issues in my surroundings and makes me believe that Monday Blues has touched my day. Yippie!?? (Not!)

Less work this week..I've done with my tasks in the office, I've managed to settle some of my workload and now..at this very moment.. I am invigilating a re-sit student for their recent training exam.

Pfftttt..I was here about 20 mins ago and I'm getting sick when I think that I can only leave the exam room after 5.00pm.

Ya Allah..sitting with Nina and not doing anything while watching one student to finish off his exam..is the most boring thing I ever do in my life! LOL.

Now I know how did my teacher feel during the exam. BORING big time!

I wish this one re-sit student all the best. The exam called 'Adjudication Writing Decision'.

What the hell is that? Don't ask me! I'll take more of your time if you want me to explain.

Heh.

Its the Monday. I hate Monday Blues. I hate the feeling of having Monday Blues today.

I miss my bed and I miss my pregnancy pillow. I miss home so very much even I only left them since 7.45am. I miss them so very much and I feel like eating KFC before sleep today.

Really... ZzzzzzZzzzz

Monday, don't hate me!

Tuesday..be nice!

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

KCH-KUL-Sepang?

After few days in Kuching..I came back in one piece. Alhamdulillah..

Even the turbulence during the flight was quite bad, I managed to reach KLIA from KCH without delay. Bravo MAS! Flight was quite empty. 

"Its a low season for East Malaysia flights",said one of the good looking cabin crew.

A very nice lady fetch me from the airport. Thank you Puan!:D

We have decided to spend our Saturday evening to the most beautiful place in Sepang.

Always heard about this resort, but never got a chance to be there.

Without maps, we use the inefficient signboards and some helps from my tab, Nina..we have reached this majestic venue around 5++pm.

Since the money that we have not permit us to spend a night or two there..(it is so freakin expensive..but I guess, the accommodation and service will be worth it!), we have decided to have an unwind session in front of the beach.

Perahu is a very romantic restaurant in the resort.

It looks like you are in Bali..but apparently..you are just in Sepang. -_-"

We had our lamb cutlet and drinks...enjoying the cloudy weather and the beach for a while.

We made it so  "unromantically" by laughing a lot and talking about what weve went tru for the past weeks in life after Singapore trip.

But seriously...It is a romantic place for those who can afford and would like to sleep in a water chalet resort.

Sepang Gold Coast. We'll see you soon!

Untuk 3 malam

4 hari 3 malam.
Selepas Kk, Penang dan kali ni Kuching.
Kerja. Bukan holiday.
Tapi, syukur itu besar maknanya bila dapat travel opportunity macam ni.
Sambil kerja. Sambil tengok tempat orang.Dapat naik kapal terbang. Dapat duduk hotel sorang-sorang. Dapat makan macam-macam.  Dapat jumpa ramai orang.
Pengalaman itu tiada galang-gantinya.
Terima kasih bosses!
Kerja itu amanah.
Ye. Aku suka kerja macam ni. :)
Terima Kasih Allah!

Hello Kuching!
Be nice please :)
KL ....see you in the weekend!

Kaki Feet

Kaki pagi tadi - 9.00 pagi sewaktu berborak dekat telefon dengan Weewee.

Mempunyai sepasang kaki yang cantik adalah idaman aku.

Nak kaki macam model Victoria Secret tapi tak sedar kaki macam ikan belukang dan saiz kasut macam kaki gajah -_-"

Dari dulu, aku selalu diejek akibat mempunyai sepasang kaki yang gemuk.

Banyak isi dikaki menyukarkan pembelian kasut yang sentiasa menjadi kegemaran.

Pasrah dengan kurniaan tuhan, aku sedaya upaya menjaga kaki supaya nampak cantik walaupun gemuk.

Hey, kaki gemuk ni susah tau!

Kasut susah nak dapat. Pattern pump shoes yang runcing didepan susah nak muat. Dan selalunya tak muat pun!

Lalu selipar menjadi kegemaran.

Kalau strap heels, yes! :) Itulah kesukaan yang selalu dapat dipakai.

Aku gila kasut? Tak sangat.

Selepas sesi spring cleaning hujung tahun lepas, kasut yang masih lagi ada selera aku nak tengok hanyalah tinggal 8 pasang.

Lapan pasang- tak banyak untuk perempuan macam aku!

Mungkin tahun ni koleksi handbag akan bertambah bersama-sama koleksi kasut-kasut idaman.

Bagi aku, sepasang kaki yang mempunyai betis bunting padi selalunya menjadi pandangan kegemaran manusia-manusia lain.

Kurniaan Tuhan, walaupun berkaki gemuk..betis kaki..tak macam peha. :P

Ramai perempuan berbadan kurus TAPI berbetis gemuk. Eish.

Tak percaya? Sila tengok dekat tv dan dalam movie. :P

Merewang diatas layaran ini membuatkan aku blur.

Cerita pasal kaki mendatangkan ingatan terhadap Pedicure session yang dah expired dah.

Kali terakhir "buat kuku" masa kerja dekat Penang sebulan lalu.

Pedicure by the beach, kononnya.

Maybe kali ini nak kena "buat kuku" dekat East Malaysia ..mungkin? Yey!

Esok terbang ke Kuching. Tolonglah manusia yang senonoh sikit duduk sebelah aku nanti.

Tak lama.. One hour and 15 mins flight yang mampu membuatkan aku restless.

:P

Its the distress session! (plus work!)

Love your precious kaki pleaseeee! :)

I love you, Jango!

Just discovered new love in town. Thanks to my colleagues for introducing us about an hour ago.. 

I love you, Jango!

You'll be my source of entertainment.

Hope you'll not let me down ;-)

Its Friday! Yey yey yeyyyyy!

A Lot Like Love

My favourite scene 

Am I a romantic person?

Haha

I used to be a hopeless romantic person.

I used to believed that 'Happy Ever After' does exist.

I used to think that 'Forever' is not some sort of myth.

How's that sound?

Am I a romantic person?

Ahahahahahahahahah..

Please..

I am a human. A human and a woman.

I do have feelings even I always try to deny the fact that I do have slight 'romantic' feelings inside.

I am laughing all by myself while typing. 

Really..

And the best thing is most my favourite movies are the romantic comedy movies and some love stories that can make you having a goose bumps.

Yuck! (That's what I thought now) 

Haha

Well, A Lot Like Love is one of fav the hopeless romantic movie of all time besides Love Actually.

HBO channel tonight is bring me down to memory lane.

This movie reminds me on one of my greatest own love story in my life.

He was my first love whom I met when I was 16.

We went to different path of life after he left me for the 1st time. 

We got back together after 4 years and broke up for the 2nd time..

We remain friends and met again to continue the relationship after 4 yrs of 2nd separation.

We struggled to complete each other. We've tried to fix into our colorful palette of life.

We are really compatible..we laughed, had our couple's jokes, we understand each other and we tried to reach the stage where it used to be my dreams..

But finally, I've made the final call and decided to ended up.

Well, I guess we still friends till now and I always remember him as one of my greatest love..

Well, 1st love is hard to forget.

He's now married to his long term 'on-off' girlfriend and now they have a son who just as cute as him. (Yes, hes the most prettiest boyfriend I ever had. :P)

He was the one who reminds me about this movie and we had the same thinking that our story would be just like the movie..

Sounds cheesy..isn't?

But, after all..love is about being cheesy, right? lol.

Unfortunately, I've decided to leave the relationship and give a way to the woman whom I believe could be with him through thick and thin..which as a selfish bitch..I definetly I can't do that..obviously! Hehe

Well, that's life and its good to see someone you used to love is now happy with their current life.(Since you are too arrogant and you don't think you could be the 'one' for them) :p

Anyway, that love story can be classified as the greatest puppy love in my history of life...but I still keep it in my heart forever.

A lot like love..it was love and its now a history. :)

By the way..I used to be romantic ok?

And one fine day..I could be romantic again.

(I guess) Haha

•Lea@Alia•Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Material..materialis..Materialistik!

Wanita sering dikaitkan dengan perkara-perkara berunsur material.

Lelaki pula sering dikatakan selalu menjadi mangsa akibat nafsu wanita dalam konteks material.

Kesian. Eh, ye ke lelaki saja selalu jadi mangsa? :P

"Ada duit, abang sayang..tak ada duit abang melayang"

Frasa dalam bahasa Melayu tersebut selalu ditujukan kepada wanita-wanita dalam dunia.

Tidak dinafikan, perempuan/wanita seperti aku yang selalu melabelkan diri sendiri sebagai "gold digger" dan materialistik memang menakutkan ramai lelaki di luar sana.

Semestinya orang takut sebab belum apa-apa..dah nampak sign $ melaui kornea mata.

Takut kan?

Haha.

Namun, pernah tak kalian terfikir bahawa golongan wanita yang melabelkan diri mereka sebagai materialistik ini adalah satu golongan yang jujur. heh :)

Konfrontasi adalah sesuatu perkara yang sangat susah untuk dilakukan oleh mana-mana manusia kerana dek takutkan persepsi negatif yang mereka akan terima bahananya bila dengan selamba mengatakan

"Saya materialistik" =.=

"Money is not everything but Money is really something"

Itu falsampah yang aku tanamkan dalam diri sejak kecil lagi.

Hidup susah adalah satu keadaan yang sangat-sangat kalau boleh nak di elakkan sejauh mungkin.

Siapa yang nak hidup susah? Secara sukarelanya ..ada ke yang nak hidup susah?

Tapi tak senang nak jadi senang dan senang sebenarnya nak jadi susah.

Lihat sekeliling, golongan wanita yang secara terang-terangan ini di kutuk secara membabi-buta.

Just because of their honest expression of being a materialistic woman. Just that!:)

Kembali kepada persepsi masyarakat yang sentiasa menjaga adab dan tatasusila..menjadi materialistik dengan secara terbuka ini bukanlah mudah.

Walhal, kalau nak diikut dari purata secara rambang..golongan wanita materialistik ini adalah sama banyak dengan jumlah lelaki "kaki spedo".

Cuma kita tak nampak secara terang-terangan aje. Sebab? orang lelaki kan tak suka bercerita dan kalau nak spedo..orang lelaki sebenarnya lagi hebat dari perempuan.

Aku phobia. LOL.

Kalau terjumpa dengan lelaki2 kaki spedo ni..cepat-cepat invisible kan diri.

Gila? Ingat aku level sugar mummy kah? 

Tak mampu..walaupun bekerja dan guna semua duit sendiri punya untuk hidup.

Sorry...aku tak mampu!

Takut dengan golongan lelaki spedo yang menggunakan ayat-ayat semanis madu walhal habuk pun tak ada, membuatkan aku langsung sanggup tidak mahu berkenalan dengan lelaki-lelaki bergelar "strangers" ini. 

Perempuan Materialistik..taklah pelik sangat bunyinya..

Sebab sejak azali memang kita sudah tahu..tanggungjawab lelaki cari rezeki dan perempuan kerjanya -spend wisely! lol

Tetapi, kalau lelaki kaki spedo? Hmmm.. aku mohon dijauhkan.

Sebab bila dua-dua berada dalam kategori yang sama...rasa macam tak kena!

Haha.

Kalau buku bertemu ruas..dalam konteks sebegini memang lah tak seronok.

Sebab? siapa yang nak pusing siapa dan siapa yang akan pusing siapa?

Itu persoalannya. :)

*Awal tahun yang lemau. Aku hilang idea. Kurang excitement! Minggu depan terbang ke Kuching. Harap dalam masa 4 hari kerja diluar KL, akan kurang sikit kelemauannya.

Day 1. Office. 2013

No changes. Yet the same. 

With the additional file and papers on my table to start the first day of work in 2013.

I am thankful that I still have a job which enable me to feed myself, to give my parents, to pay the bills and to live!

Monday blues...

After a week of leave from work...I think Im still in my holiday mood.

Yet, today is not really good day either for me.

Some heartbroken news from a friend makes me think that "If its yours..its yours..and if its not yours..It will never be yours"

Allah is Great.

He always give you what you need and if he doesn't give you what you want..He got better plans ahead.

Sounds cliche right?

But, that is the only way to mend a broken heart as for us Muslim.

You back to the ground and think about what you've done and why you are not getting what you want?

:) 

Be thankful of what you have.

Life is a roller-coaster as I've said before.

Be prepare for the worst, people! :D

Happy working to us.

Lets welcoming 2013 with great surprises!