Dinn-er Al-one

After solat last night, I felt so alone..Haiiih..
I can't stay up all night and do nothing until the sleeping time comes.

So, I've decided to fill up my time alone.

I haven't done this for quite sometime..
While crusing on the road, at the same time- I had a telephone conversation with Mom.
She was very supportive and yet told me that I can live like this. I mean- Single!
Without I realized, I was driving towards Bangsar. Wth???

So, I parked my car and planned to have dinner at CB. Oh, I missed the hot choc..seriously.
After refilling my nicotine box at KK, I walked to CB.

Someone tapped my shoulders and gave a big smile- I can't remember the face...She smiled again and said,

"I can't remember your name. But I do recognize your face! You are from MK ,rite? and you are alone?"

Oh..there it goes.. I forgot the fact that I have to face this kind of scenario starting from now on.
After a few minutes of conversation and told her that I am no longer with Ollie, (she showed her sympathy by saying- SORRY!- heh!for what? It was my fault btw), I continue my journey to CB.

Her question was stucked on my mind. Is that obvious? See? How close am I to him and I am practically prepare to face that kind of question from our common friends.. Hemmm...Ready? Heh!

After paying for my light dinner, I sat at the corner of the cafe. While reading, eating and later-smoking...I realized that the people keep on looking at me weirdly.
Just because I am a women and alone..It makes me feel so uncomfortable..

Now I remember how I looked at women while they eat alone, shop alone or even walk alone in the shopping mall..

This Hehhhh feeling - not so good! Seriously uncomfortable....
Hemm...

But who cares..I was enjoying my dinner alone even some people keep looking at me as if im some sort of an alien.

I am just alone...and I am the one who choose to be like this..
Ok lah kan? and the best thing- I am the one who paying for my hot chocolate and my tasty chicken pie.. not them..
So, I just let them looking at me while I am enjoying my dinner alone.

Is not that bad pun kan?
=)

New year

2010


The best yet to come.
Pray hard everyone!


Whats for new year?
Me?
No plan at the moment.


I just need to take some rest for a while.
Boring? Yup..sometimes..

Missing someone?
Yup! Sometimes..

Enjoying my life?
Yes! Sometimes...

Whatelse?
I am in the office and do nothing.
Funny eh!

So...whats your plan for the new year celebration?
I hate the club scenes, bad traffic, crazy drunk guy, small space and so many people at one time, too many sexy girls and sexy bloke at one time, uninvited guests to a party, girls who dressed blindly, LOUD music , rempits , bohjan bohsia and ladabohs..ok..whatever!

I just want to be at a peaceful place...=)
and I am single..

Rasa

Mungkin kali ini agak emo sikit cara aku tulis.
2009
Macam2 da jadi.
Lahir lah blog ni nak menceritakan pasal hidup aku yang takde specialnya ni...
Blog yang ditemui oleh manusia yang aku mahu dialah mahkluk terakhir yang tahu aku ada blog..
Haru biru hidup aku
Suka gembira perjalanan seharian..
Tapi yang pasti,
penghujung 2009 telah banyak membuatkan aku berfikir dan mengenang segala salah dan silap serta dosa-dosa besar yang dah aku buat selama ni...

Kejam kah aku?
Ya..
Jahat kah aku?
Ya..
Hina kah aku?
Ya..
Lemah kah aku?
Ya..

Semua diatas adalah perkara-perkara yang aku rasakan sekarang dan ketika ini bilamana mata tak dapat terpejam dan ngantuk tak kunjung tiba selepas tamatnya majlis persandingan kawan rapat aku yang da 9 tahun kenal.

Macam2 rasa ada dalam hati.
Tak tertulis kat sini kerana aku sekarang rasa terlalu jijik pada diri sendiri.
Bersalah pada diri dan tuhan tak pernah menghukum manusia lain atas kesalahan diri sendiri.
Jijik..geli..berdosa..Haru Biru jadinya.

Tak ada yang lebih baik jika aku dapat ulang masa.
Kalau boleh, dengan apa yang dah aku buat selama nak masuk 25 tahun hidup atas muka bumi ni, rasa2nya nak balik semula ke masa yang mana aku baru keluar dari perut mak aku.
4 November 1985.
Dimana masa tu, aku takde apa2 dosa pun.
Tapi, mana mungkin kan?
Tu semua cakap2 kosong yang mana tak tercapai dek pemikiran.

Semua rasa bercampur baur..
Haih..
Bukan saje berdosa pada tuhan (yang dah tentu2 ada)
Malah- aku rasa berdosa pada sesetengah manusia yang dah banyak berbakti pada diri aku.
Cakaplah aku tak kenang budi..Cakaplah aku perempuan jahat..
Cakaplah aku tak sedar diri..
Cakaplah macam2 benda yang aku sendiri akan rasa hina dengan diri sendiri bila dengar ....

Heh kan?

Ikut nafsu lesu..Ikut hati, mati.
Ini lah dia rasa yang macam2 tu dalam hati.
Berkait rapat antara satu sama lain.

Aku dah mintak ampun..aku dah mintak maaf..
Dan kata manusia itu, dia dah maafkan aku.. Itu kata dekat mulut..kata dekat hati? Tuhan je yang tahu.
Tapi, harap2 dia maafkan aku seikhlas hatinya sebagaimana ikhlasnya dia jaga aku,bela aku, cinta aku,kasihkan aku selama 5 tahun aku dalam hidup dia.

Aku memang tak sedar diri kan?
Hehh nyaaaa!

Manusia buat silap..aku pun manusia..
Tapi, silap kali ni antara yang terbesar dalam hidup aku.
Terimalah rasa yang macam2 ni dalam hati.

Tapi, sokongan yang aku dapat dari macam2 pihak membuatkan aku mampu lagi tersengih2 dan ketawa besar kadang2..
Aku dah hilang "comfort zone" aku yang mana kehilangan itu adalah disebabkan kesilapan aku sendiri.

Duduk2 lepas subuh tadi, hati berdebar..bulu roma naik...
Haihh..tak pernah rasa camni..

Keputusan dah dibuat. Bukan dari aku tapi dari dia.
Keputusan dah dicapai disebabkan insiden yang aku sendiri tak tahu macammana aku boleh hilang akal dan jadi seberani bodoh begitu.
Akal dah tak boleh berfungsi pada masa tu rasanya.
Nak buang jauh2 imiginasi yang telah diulang tayang dalam fikiran.
Heh betul!
Aku rasa aku perlu bukak buku baru tahun depan.
Buku baru..Hidup baru..Gaya hidup baru...oh, dan sedang terfikir nak jadi NOOR ALIA yang baru.
Kena diri atas kaki sendiri. Semua kena buat sendiri..Belajar idup susah kembali.

Aku mintak doa dengan tuhan supaya tunjukkan aku jalan yang betul dan bagi petunjuk yang mana keputusan aku dah buat tu adalah tepat.
Sebab aku tak pernah buat camni dan mengalami situasi begini.
Rasa menyesal jangan cakaplah kan?!

Mari doa ramai2 supaya 2010 ni jadi lagi baik dari sebelumnya.
Hah.. dah 7 pagi mata masih tak mahu pejam2 lagi..
Macammana niiii????

Oh..nanti sambung lagi!
Selamat pagi!

Oh Kayyyyyyyyy!!!!!

Its like a disease.
Seriousfcukins*it!
Why you guys makes me feel old and feel left out?
Hoi..Hoi..Hoi..
Tunggu lah!
Hehhh nyaaa!

Everyone is doing so called the same thing. When I am logging into my fb acc;

Bertunang
Nikah
Bersanding
Bersuami
Pregnant
Beranak

Wooooo..woo..woo...
Jangan la semua buat benda yang sama..I feel left out. seriously.
Even I do not have "that" in mind at this time.
But I need some of you to wait for me too! =)
Dont make me feel old and some sort being left by the bus!
Or Is about time for the next level already ka?
Hehehe..
Jealousy? Pressure? - I think so...
But,I need my singlehood time lagi...(which just started again)

Hurm..I am becoming the bridesmaid again this weekend.
Take a look at the pix below.
Nice huh?

Searching

Here I am. On my bed and trying to let it out whatever that I have in my mind.

2010 is coming.
My age is turning 25.
It makes me think..

In 25 years time-
Is there any achievements?
Yes

Is there any happy moments?
Yes

Is there any bad day?
Yes

What do I feel now?
Empty.

I am opening my new book of life. New journey which I only bring nobody but myself.
Besides family and friends who are always being a good supporter...
I need to re-arrange what I have and what I want to achieve for the next 365 days.
I feel that its a bit late..turning 25- baru nak re-arrange hidup?
Pathetic kan?

I am throwing what I had...The good..the bad and the yike-ish away.
I don't know why Im doing that.
I just need to start fresh. I need to step and stand on my own two feet.
Berdiri atas kaki sendiri.
Tetapi, Mampu kah?

Hurm...and I am searching for a better life even sometimes I can feel that I am dying inside.
Phew...
Is this what I really want?

At this moment..
I am saying- YES!

Me- which I am no longer being Me.

Well,for the past 3 months, I never thought all the things that happened- could be happened.
I am not being myself anymore which it will lead back to a no-answers discussion.
Pening kot?!
Well, I wouldnt want to write longer. I just want to upload some pics for those who missing me and for those who wants to see how I look like.
Promo? Nahh...
I just want to share some of the pics that are my favorites in Dec09.
Enjoy it guys! =)

Oh.. The above pic is the most fav one.- Classic!

=)

Back.

The event is over. Sucessfully.- Ehem..take a look at the news coverage. :)
My hectic life is so called over.
My relationship is nowhere.
Me?
still here.

Its been a while since I wrote the my last sentence here.
Plus minus a month.

To many things happened.
Too many scenarios to tell.
Too many incidents and too much drama which cant be compiled if I were asked to do it.

Mind is not stable.
It doesnt mean that I am mentally unstable.
Its just that- I have to reconstruct and let go also let in some of the things in life.

Heh...too much membebel.
I am looking forward to my happy mood which I do know when it will arrives.
Pray for myself.Pray for everybody.
Oh..
I miss my happy moments!

Its great to be back, guys!

:)

23 days

I was so afraid last night..

The moment I step into the MIEC, I couldn’t think of anything…

I am totally afraid.

And feels like I am alone..

All by myself.

Looking at the press centre..

All has been set up..

Except for few minor things

It is beautiful.

And hope its working… haha

Woooaaaahhh…

I’ll be living here for the next 23 days.

Well…I got back my spirit after dinner last night..

I need the support.

I really need it..

I called my entire “comfort zone”

I seek for the advice from my colleagues..

And I’ll try to do the best…

I shouldn’t be afraid..This is it..

This is the place where my career will burst out..

This is the challenge where I could learn

This is the venue where I could

This is the life that I need to be live for the next 23days..

Again..wish me luck

And I already miss my bed in KL.

Oh..I miss Todt as well…

As always…

Good luck to me J

Afraid

Two days left before I go..

Langkawi

Supposedly all of us should be in Langkawi by today..

But due to the uncertain decisions and so on and so forth..

There you go..

From MAS to Firefly..

We are leaving on the 20th evening.

Preparation?

Almost done.

I am afraid..

I am scared..

I hope things will be fine..

Dup dap dup dap..

This is the biggest thing that I ever done in my entire career.(which is just started)

Sigh..

I am praying to god to help me..

Hurmmm.....

Mari doakan saya supaya semuanya berjalan lancar...

Insy'allah..

When you are stuck in the middle

Honestly,

When you are stuck..You are seriously don't know what to do or what to say.

Blank.

Because of the pressure that you get may lead to your outrageous behavior

and you are starting to be "NOT YOURSELF"

That is what I am facing now.

I don't want to loose it.

Not even right or left..

Not even front or back..

The jealousy by looking at normal people always come to my mind.

Always.

Like everyday.

Sigh..

I hope I may find the right path and God will help me to show the right way of doing in.

I want to be out from the whole uncertain scenario like now.

Really

Coz I am seriously do not know how to act and what to do..even what to say..

No one could understand..

Its just me...

me..

and me...

I don't fancy this situation.

Really...

and I don't want to loose what/who that I have in my life at this very moment.

Haiiiiiihhhhh...

P/s: No advice needed. Just be "kesian" and please pray for me to go tru this. =(

Be careful of what you wish for

Look at the above subject.

It is smacking me direct to my face now.

Padan muka aku.

Tapi macam kesian sikit la..

Menyesal?

Kind off..

But I have to stay..for the sake of experience.

Seriously...

Doa2kan everything will be ok.

Insyallah...

I'll do my best to make sure everything will be ok.

Heh!

Aku tak paham kenapa manusia susah nak senyum.

Kalau pun ada masalah ....tak perlu nak bagitahu semua orang dengan cara mempamerkan muka yang buruknya kalah cam taik!

Menyumpah je dalam hati bila tengok boss yang mukanya tak pernah senyum.

We do understand that you are facing the biggest problem on earth..but you don't have to show it to your employees ALL the TIME!

Muka takde rezeki.

Oh, come on.

If you don't like your worker...you can straight away hand them the termination letter or kick them out from the office..

Why can't you do that?

Time limit rite?

Of you let them go..you may get someone who is much better than them..but you will face the same problem all over again..

Muka kasi neutral sket la..

Tak mau main pilih bulu...

The strength of the company comes from the people...

Be nice and treat them fair....

You'll be loved by your people and your reputation will be above the ordinary standard!

I wish that I will not be that kind of boss and hope I could control my emotion and treat my co-worker fairly.

If I don't like them.. wouldn't offer them the position..As easy as that!

Ok..I just wish this whole "pening kepala" will be end soon. as soon as it can be!

I just need the experience to boost up my resume! Thats all kot?!??

God...help me!!!

Hehh nya rasaaaaa!!! Tukang cucuk2 kat opis ni nak kena bakar punggung diorg kot?!

Heh!

Almost there

By looking at the table calendar on my right side...

I was wondering..

There are only 8 days left before I am leaving KL and start my hell wire journey in Langkawi.

Ok..Time flies so fast eh?

There are still too many things to finish and yet I am not preparing my mental 100% to be there.

It is lunch time and I am sitting at my small cubicle writing some story which no one could understand.

Haha..

I don't feel the excitement of going to Langkawi.

Even I'll be living in a so called well-known hotel there for plusminus 23 days..

I just lost the feelings.

It is almost there.

The international event of the year will be happened there.(Even, this event is sharing the date with Monsoon Cup in KT).. Heheh..

The real of unleashed experience will be happened.

Sighh...

I don't know what I am doing now.

Today..so fcukin blur and so freakin sleepy.

M- thats the word.

I feel like hugging Todt erat2 now.

Kiss him like crazy and I miss my bed. Seriously...

Oh..my parents house in JB too- that is where the peace can be found! Betul!

What do I want now?

Uh...I don't know...

See? The work pressure can effect your whole life tuhhh..

Can't wait for this event will be finished.

Cepat2 laaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Haihhhhh

Mood

I am calling myself crazy now.

Marah tak tentu pasal..

Naik angin kalahkan lembu yang nampak kain merah..

What a life...

Haihh..

The tablets needs to be blamed.

I am a very moody person now.

Tantrum all the way..

Sikit punya hal pun oleh jadi besar

Cehh..

The tablet..

I don't want to have my period during the LIMA event.

That is why I am taking the tablet.

Macam haram- Thats how I feel now.

I am cursing all the time..

Plus with the uncertain scenario that is happening in my life now..

Its adding the anger into my life.

People around me starting to hate the attitude.

I know..

I am sorry... :(

Really I am..

Well..life sucks currently.

Really.

I should attend the anger management class or stop taking the pill.

Uwaaa...I dont wanna get my bendera merah during the event.Its really disturbing...

Haihhh...

God,help!

What/Who do I miss the most?

I am in the office on Saturday evening..

Preparing for a lot of things but seriously taking sometimes to relax..

and I am writing something here.

What/Who do I miss the most?

1. My home in Johor Bahru

Even its small...But I can feel the love everywhere..

2. My parents

Mak..abah...the most precious people in my life. I am missing them now..

3. Mohd Fardan Idani

The love of my life. The one and only nephew who always makes us laugh.

4. My siblings

Kaklong-Ngah and my younger sister-Syikin. Even they are annoying..but I am missing the "annoying' time with them.

5. My peace of mind

Which I didnt even get it for the past how many months..

6. My stable relationship.

This is another subject which hard to explain..:(

7. My close friends

Best friends..close friends and some friends who I always ignore for months!

8. My reading time

I do not even have my bedtime reading time anymore!

Sigh..If I try to finish up this list..I bet all my work will be highlighted as "PENDING" and I'll get the "bang bang boom" from the boss..

Who wants it?

Not me definitely...

And thats it for now..

Will be continued..

Enjoy your weekends guys!

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need my precious, fun and horey horey Life back!!!

=(

Officially 24

Nov 4.

I am 24.

Even I did not even wish for any gifts, but I still received presents.

Yeay!

I received like puluhan sms-es.

Puluhan of wishes on fb

Few phone calls from loved ones

and few messages via email and facebook.

I never thought people even remember the existent of me.

But really appreciate the wishes from everybody...

Its really something :)

Thanks guys!

Happy 24th birthday to me.

Nov 4, 2009.

As at 7.15 pm- I already received 75 birthday wishes on my fb wall. Heh kan? Rasa disayangi.. :)

Thank you everyone!

=)

Less than 24 hrs to reach the age of 24

It will be 24

and tomorrow will be the 4th.

Its 1.45 pm on 3rd Nov.

I am writing for the sake of blurting out the feelings as a 23 years old girl before the numbers change to 24.

Whats with the numbers?

24 years equivalent to 8760 000 days.

It is quite a numbers eh.

Uhuk2 *coughing badly*

I am losing weight..a lot of people says that..

I am getting slimmer..not in a healthy way

I am losing my appetite..

I am smoking too much...until I am stuck with bad cough like now

I am dealing with lots of things which no one could ever imagine...worst!

Soal hati dan perasaan sangat subjektif!

Correct?

What do I wish for my 24th Birthday?

Nothing in terms of material.

But I just want to feel happy and peace.

Thats all.

Any celebrations?

I don't know coz I am totally not in the mood for it.

Will be back tomorrow.

=)

Be nice and make people happy

I don't mind working long hours.

I don't mind staying up late and do all the things that need to be done.

I don't mind wasting my time in the office just to finish the job

and

I don't mind the workload that has been given to me.

As long as

the environment needs to be the healthy ones.

The bosses are treating me nicely

The people are nice and helpful

Thats all.

However, I don't like working in a place where people keep blaming you for nothing.

As if I'm the one who screwed up all the plans from beginning.

Ok.This writing can be considered as a complaint.

Funny eh?

Its ok.

Human communications...

Internal relations..

Have you ever thought about that?

I always believe that

"the people in the company is the strength"

Agree?

Without the people ..the organisation are nothing.

Zero

Oh..come on.

I am here to get things done

Which actually cleaning all the shit that has been left for me by previous person.

I am helping and execute all the plans that should been done wayyyyy before I walked into the office.

Ok.

I'm leaving KL in plus minus 2 weeks time.

I just hope that some people can treat me nicely.

Be nice to me and I can do anything for the sake of "getting the work done"

Make your employees happy

So, they will be sincerely working for you.

They don't want to see your slacky and "i don't like you" kinda face.

Coz the employees doesn't fancy that.

They are there to live a life.

To fulfill they needs and to get money at the same time to experienced the greatness as part of the team.

Ok. Thats enough.

I need to "sembur" their face in a right way..(I guess)

Or I need to kiss their asses (Euw!!!)

just to get the nice treatment from them.

Should I do that?

Heh?!

What a life.

I need a better ones.

Oh.. my 5 pieces bedroom set already arrived my room.

Wahhhh!

Impressive huh?

At age 24- finally I have my own katil.

Next- washing machine!

Yippee!

Guys, please pray for my happiness and god , please help me to go through this.

Situation

Towards end of the month..

I am sitting in front of my laptop in the office..

At the same time, attending all the nonsense calls from all around the places.

"Lea"

"Alia"

"Cik Noor alia"

"Ms Noor"

and some people tend to call me

"Puan Noor Alia"

WTF?

Not yet kot?!

Attending inquiries regarding the event which just around the corner is one of the task as a PR personnel here.

What?When?How?Who?

Bla bla bla..

Plus..I have more important tasks to do and its pretty annoying when you have to attend the phone calls at the same time your boss is calling you from her/his table and one of the colleague is standing next to you waiting for her unanswerable question to be answered?!

Irritating kan?

Well..Its hard..I am counting down the time to 18 November..

I'll be leaving all the mess and all the good things in KL till Dec 10.

Lama tuh..

My skin will be tan..as I am really sure of that.

My time is no longer considered as "mine"

Stress level will be up to 100!

Life is all about work.

and I will be celebrating my Eid in Langkawi with the co-workers and bosses.

Pathetic kan?

Luckily is Raya Haji..not Raya Puasa..

Otherwise, I'll be crying out loud in front of the beach.

Heheh

I am sorry mummy! heh?!

Oh..November is coming.

Heheh..

24 is the number and 4 is the date.

I am getting old..and I feel like I am really getting old just because I am starting my life from scratch now.

From 0

and slowly climbing up the ladder which I don't really knows where its heading to.

I find it funny sometimes.

Hehe..

I believe, everything happens for a reason and I am sure god will help me in merely ways.

I have thousand of things to write.

Just wait.

Things that we are so used to...

I haven't wash my clothes by myself for the past +- 5 years.
Kedai dobi- thats where I sent them to..

I rarely cook my food for dinner
Kedai makan/fancy restaurant or kedai mamak- Thats where I always go to fill up my stomach.

I rarely arrange my stuff, my clothes even my underwear into my wardrobe
I seldom sweep the floor..even use the mop..
and I can consider myself as a "spoiled lady"

Sighh..
But now,
I need to use my hands (which the nails are no longer be sent to man or pedi anymore due to the cost constrain) to wash clothes...to wash the dirty dishes after dinner...to arrange my stuff in my new room which not yet being filled by any furniture...and I have to do it all by myself.

Thats life heh?
I am doing the things that I am not used to do it...
Things that I never bother to care and things that I never take it seriously...(used to)
But, now...
I am starting the new journey...
Slowly and pathetically.

Wish I can go through it..
Now, its the time to cuci baju..heh!
=)

Sick

Sick.

Yes, I am feeling sick inside and outside.

Too many stories to be yelled out.

Sometimes sad

Sometimes happy

Sometimes ok

and

Sometimes not

I do not know what kind of life that I am into now.

I am starting again right from the beginning..

I am not complaining..But just wondering...

Sighhing...

Feels like leaving all and everything behind and be in JB by now.

Coward? Thats the word.

I am not gonna do that obviously.

and hoping that god will help me go through it.

Insyallah..

Lady of leisure

At this moment..

With the workloads..with the stress...I just want to wake up in the morning

On a beautiful and classy bed..

In a nice, cozy house in front of the beach..

As a lady of leisure..

=)

So no stress..no pressure..no phone calls..no office mails but

Lots of money...nice car..delightful food...nice ambiance..nice people around me..

No stupid calls and problems to attend to.. hehe

Its just a dream.

I am living in a mess now.

Sorting out whatever that needed to be straighten.

As soon as I can.

As fast as I can do..

Ok..life is pathetic sometimes..

It need to be more practical.

Sighing again.

I feel like going back to 1985 again..

Puhlezzzzzzzzz.....

Feelings

I wake up in the morning..

in a different surroundings..

Different situation..

Different room and after 3 days sleeping in the new so called house...

I never get enough sleep.

Well, the transition is not that easy..

As we speak and as we think about it every each time..I wonder..

why do I have to go through all this at this age?

I have to start all over again.

The only person that I can depend is me.

Besides, having a supported family and great friends around...I don't have anyone else here.

Pathetic isn't?

Life goes on...and I am living a life now.

Sick Sick Sick

Life sucks at the moment.

Sakit ati.

Benci

Geram

Marah..

Macam2 lah..

Malu pun ada.

I don't know.

I just feel like balik JB dan start my life all over again.

Macam haram..

Semalam MC.

AM yang mmg macam haram da buat perangai MIA dia.

HaramJ sangat kan?

Aku stuck

Everything tak kena je...

Aku serious takde mood..

And I am writing for the sake of telling..

Ok..feel so bloody sick!

Honestly..

Have you ever thought...?

Here I am...in the office..
While eating nasi lemak..I am stealing some of my time to write something here.
Its 10.17 am...
Everything is still slow and steady.
I am taking my own sweet time before the lady boss come in.
I have thousands of things need to be settled today...as usual..

Something came up into my mind..
When you are in love...
When you are saying.."I LOVE YOU..or I MISS YOU.."
Have you ever thought of
"Why are you in love with this particular person?"
"Why are you missing this person so badly until you can smile all the time even nothing is happening?"
Why? Why?

Love is very subjective. Isn't?
Nobody can translate what is the real meaning of Love...
But what I know is..
The elements of trust,understanding and accepting the person as what they are- are the most credential subjects in relationship.
Correct?

Well..I am missing someone everyday..
I am missing a lot of people everyday...
Family,friends...best friends..close friends..schoolmates..classmates..my ex housemates.. and etc etc..
I love them all..
But there are too many types of love from me to every and each category..

So..why are we missing all these people?
Or why am I missing some particular person in my life?

The memories-that I am holding it till now.
Everyone that I met in my life always gives a big impact to me.
It really depends on the situation...what we went through together and what are the consequences that we get in our relationship or friendship..

Oh..btw, I am missing my leisure moments now.
My life is all about the work and office.
Someone said
"Workaholic nye la minah ni"

I don't consider myself as a workaholic..
I just do my job for the sake of paying all the monthly bills and expenses also for the sake of experience.
That's all..
Hoping that I'll get my pleasure moments again by next year..

And let me tell you something..
the nasi lemak that I bought in front of the office just now..its totally MASIN!
Potong betul lah!Heh!

Have a great day everyone! and don't forget to wish me luck!:P

Actually

Actually, I have thousands of things to write

Millions of thoughts to let it go

and

Billion of memories and actual secret to tell...

But somehow, due to certain difficulties..I had to keep it in mind and not keep it in here.

Life is easy- somebody says..

But we are the one who make it complicated.

Heh?

Really?

At this point of time.. I don't think life is easy..

I do laugh at certain times..

I do smile some of the times..

But what I always do is think..

Most of the times...

Tired. heh?

I practically do not have time for myself..

I really need a new place to live..

which I wanted to be called "mine"

Lovelife?

Half of my face is smiling and half of it are not.

Duhhhh???

Workload?

As usual...

Heh kan?

What do i miss most is-

Get a lot of sleep and more time for myself.

and I am in the middle.

Not being myself.

Again...there is an issue about the same subject.

What the heck??

Some of the people around me says that

"You are not being yourself!"

Ok.Which part?

I felt that no one could understand the situation that I went through now.

Some people might take it easy.

Its like nothing...heh?

I can feel that I am walking in the air and the feet is not touching the ground.

Sighhh--

Why is that?

Ok..I have an issue with myself.

Its like I can't think straight and surprisingly no one is forcing me to not think straight.

Well, practically, Life is like that.

At the moment, still looking for a room somewhere my workplace.

I do not want to spend my money too much on petrol and unnecessary coins that I have to pay for the toll charge everyday..Just to reach my office..

Well is hell.

As for now..I am taking it slowly...

I am breathing...I am thinking and still considering..

First and foremost before anything else..

I really need to get new room!

Thats all for today...Will be back soon.

Thinking and Considering

For the past two weeks, I have been thinking A LOT.

Seriously.

Thinking and considering is the main agenda in my life besides the workload that I have.

Too many issue I had in my mind.

Oh..I left the house.. The small RM300 room that Ive been rented for the past 1 year plus.

Its all gone.

No more housemates..No more cats and no more loneliness

And practically I am living in someone else's house ..temporarily.

Also currently looking for a new place called home.

Worklife? Hah! This is interesting.

What I can say is... Office is my first home besides the house that Ive been living now.

Great isn't it?

My officemates are like my housemates.

We meet each other like 6.5 days a week...and sometimes 7 days..

I do love it sometimes...yup..coz practically my life is more towards work and I do not want to give a chance for myself to think about my personal life.

I am considering.

I wanted to be given a chance to live by my own.

To lead a normal life.

and now...I am still thinking and considering..on too many things..

Sad isn't?

But when you don't try...you may never know...

That is one thing for sure...

So, now...I'm hoping for the best...

and I'll pray for the rest.

Tolerate the stupidity.

I never said that I am good in doing my work...

and neither am I so stupid in settling my task..

I am still learning...Regardless whatever it takes, I have to go through it.

Because in my field of work, there is no right and wrong.

The principles and the skills plus the knowledge are the important facts to ensure the task is being done accordingly.

However, I just can't tolerate the stupidity.

If you don't know...ask.

That is what I've been doing since the first day I started work..(Not only here..even for the few previous companies before)

Please inform...tell..acknowledge the real situations before you gets anyone into trouble!

But, I am wondering..

Why..some people, with the so-called great experiences in this line of work..

Give me the stupidest excuses...

Adooyyy....

Or...Some people are just trying to impress me..I guess..

I am terribly felling so HEHHHHHHHHHH right now.

The 2nd week of Raya..

Raya its already over for me...

Yes...but my heart is still glowing.

Till now...

=)

Thank you for those who makes me smile everyday....

Yesterday

What a day..

But I was smiling when the sun goes down.

Life is like that..

For the past one week...I always think about it.

Where am I heading to...?

Whats next?

What this and whats that?

Or should I leave it just like that..and see whats coming?

Then only think how to overcome it?

Oh..I lost my appetite since hari raya...

I don't really eat..

I smoke too much..

I smile most of the time...even when something not so good hitting on me..

Patient...its all that I got now.

Last night, someone said that..I am not being myself at the moment.

The statement makes me asked him why and apparently asking myself- why?.

We were friends since I was 16...I think we were more than friends..

We laughed...we talked..we smiled..we even yelled at each other...

He knows a lot about me..even without me telling him this and that..

He just can figured it out..Thats the specialty..

Our friendship is like "on off " basis due to certain circumstances... Hehe

We don't see each other that much..even we are staying in the same city..

But we are still friends after so long..

And I really appreciate that..:)

Back to the story...when someone who knows you well said something like that..

How do you feel?

and

What do you think?

I am not being myself?

Hermmm...

When the question - "Why are you saying that?" popped out from my mouth to him...

He just smiled..

and it makes me think that..

He might be right...- because he knows me too well..

or

He might be absolutely wrong - because people do change and like I said to him..Its tuntutan lifestyle..

Hehehe...

I can imagine his face when I said that..

Heh!

Glad to see him again. Really ;)

;)

Happens for a reason

I am sighh-ing since 2pm in the office on 5th day of Syawal.

Everything was so glooming this morning until the obstacles arrived in the afternoon until this time.

I am wondering ...

I am asking...

Why?

One after another...

Not only office affaisr..even life affairs being challenged...

Ok.

I am sighhh-ing again..

Suprisingly I just can feel something will happen while I was smiling in the morning.

But I just denied the feelings..

After all, the instinct is just another form of reality...

Then, I am thinking that everything happens for a reason..

I always have that faith and keep it in my heart..

Today might be a difficult day in my life and other people that related to me...

But Insyallah...tomorrow, there will be a sunshine and make me fine..:)

Subhanallah...Masy'allah..

Ya Allah...please show me the right path and help me to go through all this...

Insyallah.....

Kad Raya pertama.

Aku selalu berpendapat cara tradisional untuk mengucapkan Selamat hari raya untuk mereka2 yang jauh dimata tapi dekat dihati adalah tidak relevan.
Ini disebabkan aku da lebih dari 5 tahun tak pernah menerima waimah sekeping pun kad raya dari mana-mana manusia.
Kalis rasa dan tak mahu menerima hakikat yang diri tak pernah menerima kad raya setelah sekian lama.. Hahaha

Namun,Pagi ini aku dikejutkan dengan kehadiran sekeping kad raya diatas meja kerja.
Terkejut bukan?
Baru 7 hari di pejabat baru- sudah terima kad raya??
Hebat si kuliketif komunikasi korporat ni ya..

Boss kecik aku ketawa kan aku.
"Peminat kot??"

Aku dengan bangga dan rasa terkejut..membuka lembaran kad raya tersebut.

Hati luluh bila seorang sahabat baik di syarikat lama tempat aku bekerja mengeposkan kad raya padaku.

Haihh...
Tersentuh hati...
Rasa bagai nak mengalir air mata
Gembira dan seronok sekali.

Dan pagi ini jugalah aku menerima kad raya pertama setelah hampir 5 tahun tanpa kad raya mengunjungi diri.

Terima kasih Yui...=)
Selamat Hari Raya,Yui...Ampun dan maaf jika tersilap kata..tersalah perbuatan...yang membuatkan Yui tersentuh hati dan terkesima perasaan....
Duit raya Lea jangan lupa ya...Heheh

Dan kad raya tu aku lekatkan di kubikal ku...:)
Hehehe....

Share the great moment in the not so good day

I am totally forgot about this.
Yesterday was so rosy and glowing..
The mixture of emotion is all there...

But today..its a bit dull..
I try to let it go and try not to blame myself of my luck for whatever happened

Let me lighten the day for myself by sharing the best and the most shocking moment for me...yesterday.
I just wanna share.
Even, its just a beginning..there will be another 2 step to go..(which I am really afraid to go through it)
..but I seriously want to tell everyone about it.

So there it goes..


Wish me luck guys..(Hope the next session will be held before 20th Nove 2009! Insy'allah)
*This is why I am smiling yesterday*
Alhamdulillah..

Not a good day.

Its only 12 pm.
But I already received few bad news.

Room issue
Claim issue
Work issue
Bad people
Housemates who will turn to become not a friend of mine soon.
People's behavior.

OK.
Devastated.

I just want today to be end fast.
As fast as it could be
I am going back as early as 4 pm sharp and
I hate my PMS.
Great.

Hope something good will light my life today..
The soon the better..
Haihhhhhhhh.......

May god bless me..like yesterday!
Make me feel happy again.
=(

Work.work.work

After three days,
I am working my ass off here.
Media Relations
Events..The big one is coming up plus the small and little ones..
Advertising.. and many areas more that I haven't touch since my 1st day here.
Oh not forgotten my feckin idiotic and the thing that I really hate- Newsletter.The E - one!
But that is the challenge!
It’s all about PR.
I should learn more and keep on learning coz I think I’m still a rookie.

Well..well..well...
I am practically busy at the moment.
Arranging for the luncheon session with those big shot and press before the big event.
However, I still managed to steal some of the time to write some stuff here.

Ok..work..work..work..
It’s so boring when someone keeps on talking about their work in the entire meet up session.
Especially when they are those people who are so feckin proud of what they are doing for living, how much they get every month also what are the benefits that they are getting at the work place.
Boring stuff huh?

Me talking about work? It also boring kan? Heh!
But I always adore an engineer..
Regardless of what types of engineer they are..(mechanical,civil,electrical...networking..bla bla bla)
I adore them.

When talking about engineers..
I was an engineering student..Civil..okeh?
Back in an early age..I am so into it.
Never wanted to be an engineer..but always wanted to be an architect.
Hah!
And I need to have strong basic skills of technical side when you have an ambition to be ONE.

Two years in technical school..
I never pursue my education with a strong heart.
Playing..Laughing..and as far as I remember...I never really2 study..Heh!
Oh..come on, schooltime was fun, right?

Failed my technical drawing subject and my Civil Engineering theory subject which was only graded as "pass"...it makes me think that I can't proceed with engineering studies.
Why? My mind is not there and I am just not one of them.- I mean engineering students
I can't even draw a straight line with a T-square.
Pathetic right?
And how on earth could I do that?

So, there it goes..
3 years of Diploma in Advertising,Multimedia & Advertising studies in Limkokwing -awarded with Young Achievers Award during the graduation ceremony
and
1 and half years with Curtin Uni, I can smile widely with my BA Mass Communications degree..
I think I did it well for myself..
Otherwise, if i continued my education in engineering..I do not know what I am now..
Keep on failing the sam subject or maybe keep on repeating the same semester after few years..I guess?
:P

But..that is it..
I am still learning and like now..I am working in my line.
To be better and to be like some of my mentor in my field of work.
Still there’s a lot more to come and I believe this will be it.

This is the career that I choose for myself and the career that will pay all my bills and entertainment.

Well..I am still having a little heart for engineering...
Not much...but at the moment..I still adore those engineers.
Including my school friends who are engineers..the real one!
If, I have been given a chance to be back at age 16…when I was still a student in Teknik Tg Puteri, Johor Bahru.
I will study to the greatest level in Engineering.
That is the truth.
Haha..
Life is so funny sometimes ehh…

Oh..I have a packed schedule this weekend. I should be ready.
It’s Friday! Yeayy!! =D

The first on 090909

What is so great about 09/09/09?

It is my first day in the office.
What?
Its too early too judge on the people here but..
The workload?
God, bless me!
Help me!

Too many things
Too many subjects..
Too many areas..
eh..
Too many lah!

I can imagine that I will be;

• Sleeping in the office..
• Smoking more than ordinary
• Sex life drown in the drain..
• Sarcastically speaking most of the time

and not to be forgotten..

• Stress all the time.

Ok.wish me luck.
What ?
The environment?
I can't tell anything yet..
The people?
No comment at the moment.

Oh..
I am in the middle of something now.

Busy..
Really busy..
Heh?!

Oh..I am now writing here using portable DELL.
God bless..
I am scared.
Really...


*Everywhere I go..there will be a cougar in my workplace...Haihh..why laaaaaaaaa??*

Mix emotions

Yesterday was my last day in the old office...

Handover done...

Ive cleared my table and already brought back my stuff..

Except for FAREtotheWELL party..

Yes...we still celebrate it ...even on puasa month.

By the way,

Today and at this moment..I am still in the old office.

Writing some thoughts and feelings that need to be blurted out.

When I still have a chance..

Mix emotions...

I am really sad to leave all the good people here..

The ambience..

The surrondings..

The people..

The internet connnection.. haha.

and I don't even think that I can write anything here as much as I can anymore..

Tomorrow..the new chapter will be opened.

New people.

New cubicle..

New place..

New bosses...-I wonder how they will be..

and the new office politics..

I am scared basically and happy at the same time.

To  be given an opportunity like this..It was a truly gift!

At my age...with my experiences as a rookie..It makes me think again.

Even the current place is so much relaxing..

Its so much easier...

I bet there will be more excitement waiting for me in the whole new place..

I am leaving it to god.

I will try to meet the expectation.

And today, I am claering out my mind..refresh my imagination..also let go all the lazyness.

I am ready..

Wish me luck...

and I am wishing a good luck to me too

Tomorrow is the day..

May god bless me

and

I really hope things will be much much more better than here...

=)

Hari terakhir disini

Sedih..

Sangat sedih..

Tak tercakap sedihnya...

Office suram..

Manusia2 ini diam..

Aku bungkam...

Habis dah story...

Esok buka buku baru....

Lusa dah masuk office baru...

Ok..

sedih..

Cerita kejap lagi....

Cerita Fesyen Baju Raya tahun ini.

Bukan nak condem sesiapa.

Tapi semenjak dua menjak ni,

dari pemerhatian aku di gedung2 membeli belah, banyak 

booth2 serta kedai2 dan toko2 yang menjual baju raya untuk kau

m hawa  telah membawa satu trend baju.

Trend baju kurung moden yang bahagian lengannya macam baju aladdin.

Ada getah di bahagian hampir bawah lengan baju tersebut

Wth???

Sewaktu jalan2 di Geylang Serai minggu sudah..

Boleh dikatakan trend baju sebegitu memenuhi ruangan bazar menjual pakaian hari raya.

Sampai nak bergaduh aku dengan mak sebab dia nak beli baju yang ber"trend" begitu.

Bukan sahaja aku..malah Ngah..Kaklong dan Syikin..rata2 tak mahu tengok mak pakai baju tangan kembang kuncup tu.

Aduhaii..kepala pusing tengok baju tu.

Entah kenap aku sangat tak berkenan tengok rekaan baju tu.

Cantik kah?

Cuba bayangkan kalau si pemakai adalah seorng yang badannya macam aku..

Lengan yang da sedia ada tak cantik..akan nampak bertambah besar..

Cantek ke????

Cuba lihat ini...

Adui....

sakit mata oo tengokkan!

Siapalah yang mereka fesyen begini hingga menyesatkan pemikiran pemakainya..

Kasihan la siapa yang anggap baju trend lengan kembang kuncup ni "TRENDY" sangat!

Heheh...

Just my 2 cents..;)

That is why I don't date JB guy/gal anymore.

That was my status on FB few days ago.

Ok..

Some people back in my hometown was really suspicious to know

-Why am i being so overly feel like that

and even some said i sounds stereotype.

Ok.

What the hell.

The fact is I do not date any guy  (and even I never date any girl) from JB anymore.

Why?

Why?

The history and bad experiences taught me about being nice to people.

I've dated so many guys who are originally from JB- Johor to be exact.

I met them with thousands of form. Ok. they are human beings not an aliens.

What I mean is..

the ATTITUDE.

the LOOKS

the BODY LANGUAGE

the SEX APPEAL

the CHARISMA

the whatevershit as well lah!

Most of the JB guy I met..they normally looking for

1. Sex

2. Attention

3. Servant

4. A girl who they can show her off to everywhere.

5. Beuatiful without brains

6. Great butts

7. Nice tits

8. Good kisser

and the list goes on..

I know , not only JB guy are like that.. and most of the KL guy are not a great guy so far..

But, lets just say... 95% of these JB guys that I met are...

1. Rough

2. Hopeless Romantic person or

3. Not Romantic at all

4. Got looks and nice dicks but no brains

5. He is his "mummy's son"

6. No future plan

7. Still staying with his parents

8. Love to make a miscalls to your phone but never calls u in a proper way

9. Doesn't want to spend too much money for the girl that he likes..

and bla bla bla bla..

Ok. Enough.

I think my writing will touch someone's heart..

Who is currently dating JB guy..

Who marrying a JB guy

Who are already have a baby with some sort of JB guy..

or even worst

some of my friends who think that I am "lupa daratan"

Hey..

I still remember where I came from.

Don't worry..

I am still in Love with JB.

I am actually thinks that JB is a great place to live..

But somehow..

I don't date JB guy anymore...

I'm sorry...

Its just..ahh....I just do not want to- at the moment...

Subject.

I am so sleepy now.

On my left hand side is the complete  1st season of sex and the city.

Yabedabedu.

I feel like talking.

and writing a lot.

Since last week, I had thousands of things that need to let it out from my mind.

But Im just too lazy...

Let me take a breath, picking up the mood and sensation to write again.

Coming up ver very soon.

Now, its the time to watch SATC -the complete 1st season.

Yipppie!:)

Dia- budak kejam kawan aku.

Dia sangat suka mengarut.

Aku kenal dia kat kaki lima kat kolej aku sewaktu aku memakai baju kurung kaler kuning raja,

sambil mengepil sebatang Marl Lights di tangan.

Aku tak kenal dia mula-mula.

Aku kenal coursemate dia, Renee...(minah Indon kaya gilebabi tuh)

Mata bertentang mata

Hello Hi Bye Bye je la...

Tapi, satu sem selepas itu.

Ada satu mamat nama dia Eddie- ofcmate housemate aku yang da aku ajak kuar minum mentioned;

"You kenal Faryn tak?Satu college dengan you?"

Dan aku pun terbayanglah seorang senior aku yang bernama Faryn juga..yang kuat mengepul asap dalam mulut dan sangat2 hu-ha macam aku.

Teeeeeettt..salah orang.

Rupanya Faryn senior bukanlah Faryn yang Eddie maksudkan.

Dipendekkan cerita...Dan disebabkan kekeliruan itu juga lah, aku baik dengan Faryn ni.

Naik bas sama2

Amik gambar separa bogel untuk projek final dia sama2

Makan tak bayar sama2

Pi college sama2

Paw orang sama2

Ketawakan orang sama2

Pinjam pulang duit sama2

Horey2 sama2

Tipu mamat2 sengal sama2

Kutuk orang sama2

Ok.aku sayang dia..

Walaupun aku jarannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg sekali jumpa dia dan dia selalu kata;

"KO TAK SAYANG AKU"

Jauh dalam sudut ati aku..

rasa nak cekik2 je dia sebab aku tau aku went tru banyak benda dengan dia..even tak jumpa ari2...friendship tu tetap ada.. 

Aku tahu dia pun faham...

Dia saje mengada2...

Hahaha

Baiklah budak kejam...aku sayang kau!

Tak cukup besar lagi ka??

Tudung kepala.

Tudung- Isu sensitif

Aku mengaku aku manusia yang menutup aurat.

Ok. bukan nasihat yang aku perlukan kala ini.

Tudung.

Fesyen atau Tuntutan Agama?

Wanita bertudung kepala.

Jika dilihat di sesuatu kawasan.

Contoh;

Dipejabat

Dalam bilik2 kuliah

dan juga di konsert2 muzik dan anugerah2 hiburan, (ni lagi ramai!)

wanita yang bertudung memang ramai membanjiri kawasan sekitar.

Dalam masjid atau surau..tak perlu cerita lah. Memang wajib menutup kepala. Termasuk aku!

Sebagaimana yang aku belajar disekolah dulu,

Memakai tudung adalah tuntutan agama.

Maka wajiblah seorang perempuan itu menutup kepalanya dari dilihat rambut mereka oleh lelaki yang bukan muhrim.

*Aku belum lagi menutup kepala hingga ke saat ini*

Dan AKU yang tidak bertudung ini bukanlah satu persoalan dan Subjek dalam kes ini.

Namun, sekarang yang aku nampak..

Wanita banyak bertudung sekadar ikut fesyen.

Katanya pakai tudung, tapi nampak leher..

Kata pakai tudung, tapi nampak jambul rambut berkaler perang...

Katanya bertudung tapi nampak lengan..siku itu didedahkan..

Katanya pakai tudung tapi pakai skirt separuh panjang..

Katanya bertudung tapi pakai baju ketat dan jarang.

Ok. 

Macammana tu?

Yang paling perit bila dilihat dalam video2 lucah 3gp yang banyak melilau dari satu hp ke satu hp jantan2 jahanam ni semua,

Wanita bertudung sedang membuat adegan2 lucah yang sepatutnya berlaku dalam kelambu dan bukan di bilik pejabat, tempat Xray mahupun di tepi tangga ataupun di tepi2 rimbunan pokok.

Macam mana tu?

*Haihhh*

Wanita bertudung bukan tak boleh berfesyen,

Siapa kata wanita bertudung nampak hodoh?

Aku tak cakap.

Malah ada ikon2 wanita di Malaysia yang bertudung dan masih nampak vougue!

Bertudung litup ok? 

Bukan bertudung tapi nampak dada, nampak betis..nampak jambul segala tuh..

Aku respek ikon2 wanita bertudung yang nampak mengancam dan pada masa yang sama menutup aurat.

Lihatlah betapa indahnya cara pemakaian yang bersesuaian dengan tuntutan akidah.

Classic!

Mungkin persoalan ini sensitif bagi wanita bertudung.

Aku tak pernah against wanita bertudung.

Mereka adalah terbaik kerana hati telah terbuka untuk menutup aurat.

Tak macam aku! Rambut kaler2..letak gambar dalam facebook seksi2.. Hahaha..

Tapi, konteks memakai tudung ini adalah sangat subjektif untuk diperkatakan...

Jadi, memakai tudung zaman sekarang adalah kerana......

Tuntutan Fesyen mahupun Ikut trend ataupun Tuntutan agama?

Dua minggu berturut- turut

Rasanya dah lama tak buat kerja begini.

Balik JB setiap hujung minggu.

Akhir sekali sewaktu aku dalam sem pertama di kolej dulu.

Minggu2 sanggup bersesak2 naik lrt, bersesak perak kat Puduraya

Hanya sebab nak mengejar bas untuk balik kampung.

4 jam perjalanan ke JB dalam bas tak dirasakan jauh.

Homesick lah katakan.

Sanggup jalan selaju mungkin menyusuri Jalan Petaling sambil mata menjengah2 hanbag2 tiruan yang dipamerkan oleh manusia yang menjual.

Sanggup juga aku tinggal RM10 didalam poket, janji tiket bas sudah dibeli.

Ketika itu, tanya sajalah bas ke JB yang mana hebat perkhidmatannya.

Pasti aku boleh jawab dengan bangganya.

Durian Burung? - Takut nak naik selepas bas mereka banyak terlibat dalam kemalangan jalanraya.

Transnasional? Berhenti kat Machap untuk makan selama 45 min kadang2..membazir masa!

Konsortium? -selalu tipu waktu perjalanan.Kata sekarang2..tapi akhirnya sejam lepas tu baru berlepas.

Jelita ?- Kegemaranku... ishk..tapi dah takde sebab lesen operasi telah ditarik balik. Non stop nihh!!

Jebat Ekspress?- Suka masuk seluruh kampung..Yong Peng kejadah semua!

Cepat Ekspress ?- yang sebenarnya lambat

Causeway Link? - Muncul jenama ini kala di zaman2 akhir aku menggunakan perkhidmatan bas untuk balik kampung..Tapi, jenama ini bagus! Cepat. Non stop. Kegemaran juga.

Puduraya dan Terminal Bas Larkin seakan menjadi teman hujung minggu. Siap ada gerai kegemaran untuk lepak2 sementara menunggu bas datang.

Haihh...Itu zaman dulu.

Tak kiralah apa pun jadi....Janji aku berada di JB

Homesick itu berkurangan bila sudahpun dipaut cerita2 indah di Kuala Lumpur ini.

Ya..KL is not that great pun!

Penat dah...

Dan bila menginjak usia2 begini, tuntutan kerja menyebabkan aku jarang pulang.

Sejak berkenderaan sendiri, terlampau banyak yang perlu difikirkan jika mahu pulang ke JB.

1. Masa- 3 jam drive seorang

2.Duit petrol

3.Duit tol

4. Duit belanja bila sampai di JB. 

Alah..senang cerita, semua berkaitan duit.

Alhamdulillah mak abah selalu datang jumpa Todt diPutrajaya.

Jadi tak perlu lah aku balik ke JB selalu.

Dan untuk sekian kalinya...setelah sekian lama tak buat kerja macam ni..

2 minggu berturut2 aku akan pulang ke JB.

Last week..This week dan ..next week? Oh,Tidak mungkin.

3 jam drive seorang dengan malam semalam tak boleh tidur.

Bagaimana agaknya?

*Haihhh*

What is so great about KL?

Kuala Lumpur- capital of Malaysia.

Been here for the past 6 years. honestly, Im not proud of it.

So,What is so great about KL?

I wonder why some of the people around be being so excited about KL?

Hey, its nothing here.

Trust me.

I used to be one of them.

When I was a kid, I always dream of living in KL.

But, after the dream came true- It wasn't as great as I thought.

KLwas a real Huge thing for me.

And yet after few years,

I don't find anything great about you living in KL.

I even hate to tell anyone that I live in KL

Working in KL and studied in KL.

I hate to answer question from my old friend after haven't see each other more than 3 years;

"Where are you now?"

"Where did you studied before?"

"Where do you working now?"

Wth??

And after I answered;

"KL"

They were like;

"Woaaahhh...bestnya duduk KL"

and when I asked them;

"What is so great with living and working in KL?"

They just couldn't answer....

Traffic jam-High cost of living-No friendly neighbour- Social disease- Bad drivers-Crazy and annoying drama queens- Rapists- Mat rempit- Snatch theif- Bad atmosphere- Club and drugs abusive-Dirty places-Expensive food-Bad service of public transportation and the list goes on and on...

So, still think that KL is so freakin great?

Think again...

Me? I am stuck here..My life, my job , my stuff are here..

I just have to be here...

*Haihhh*

Cuti puasa

Aku memang tak suka bila datangnya bendera merah setiap bulan.

Benci.

Period2 ni..menyusahkan diri.

Dengan rasa annoyed.

Dengan rasa nak marah orang 24 jam.

Dengan sakit pinggang ..

Dengan muka berminyak..

Haihhh...

Tapi alangkah bahagianya jadi perempuan 

Bila datangnya period..

Time2 puasa ni...

Hehe..

Cuti la...

apa lagi..

2nd day and counting.

Mari makan Mcd di tengah hari..

Maturity

When talk about maturity,

I get so confused.

Some people might think that age is important to relate to it.

However, I've been surronded by so many age group of people..

I don't see all of them being matured and act like their age during the conversation.

Age 29- acted like 15

Age 25- acted like 13

What is wrong with all these people?

Still think that they are cute when they "baby talk"-ing to anyone..and everybody.

I don't find it cute.

Unless you are babytalking to your partner. That would be a different case.

Women- are normally behaving like that.

When they get into a group..they think that they are cute.

Laughing like a 12 years old kid.

Talking about nonsense issue.

Babbling about Love, feelings which sometimes I think it will leading to nowhere.

Talking about fashin..makeup all the time..

But when asked about what is happening to the country now?

They could'nt answer.

And some men also are part of this group.

Immature.

I am so sick of all this people.

Please behave and show your maturity so people will respect you.

Remember, Baby-talking is not CUTE all the time!

=)

(I can be immature too...but it depends on the situation and who are you talking to..)

Selera di bulan mulia.

Bazar Ramadan sana..
Bazar Rmadan sini..

Haiiihh.

selera kalahkan orang mengandung 5 bulan!

Cehh!

=)

1st puasa- nasi ayam

2nd puasa- nasi ambeng

Terawikh?

hm......

8 rakaat rasanya da cukup mengempiskan perut yang da sebu akibat melantak cam nak rak!

Kuih?

Setakat ni tak mengidam banyak2..

Kuih gula hangus!

Dah memadai.

Selamat berbuka puasa..
Hari ni berbuka dengan sirap bandung soda dan mungkin coklat panas mula2 ... hehe..

Oh..Todt sudah baik..

Alangkah bahagianya berbuka di kampung halaman.

Rasa nak packing barang dan duduk sini terus...kan Todt?

Kami 4 beradik berhuha-huha di hospital. Yang baju coklat tu sakit...tapi nampak cam happy je eh kaklong! heh!

Todt = adik last kitaorg.. Boleh?

Next destination - JB

To fulfill Abah's dream this Ramadan,

I am going back to JB tonight.

Todt already been discharged from hospital.

But his Mummy admitted to the same hospital this morning.

Heh!Too many drama at one time.

Oh.. i have to drive alone to be with Todt.

Ok..I miss mak's lauk pauk.

I miss to kiss my baby sister

I miss to hear Abah's voice.

I miss to listen to Ngah's story 

I miss to hear kaklong's nonsense. 

And the best part is.. I cant wait hold him!

Mohd Fardan Idani- the nephew who now becoming like our younger brother! Haha

Hoping that the journey will be good. Insyallah..

Hoping to meet someone cute along the way.. Hahaha.. Insyallah jugak!

Hoping that the traffic will be ohkay after 8 pm. Insyallah lagi..

I packed my things already..

Just waiting for the time ..

Soon! =)

Now I can smell mak's sup ayam panas2...

It makes me crazy tau!

Have a blessed Ramadan to everyone.

Alhamdulillah... =)

7 1/2 days

I am smiling.. 

I still have a 7 1/2 days annual leave.. and suprisingly I just got to know about it this morning.-after two weeks submitted my resignation letter-Good job HR! Heh!

What do I feel at the moment?

I am happy and sad at the same time,

Berkecamuk!

I am scared on what will happen next when I reach the new workplace.

New environment

New surrondings

New table! - I like this part..

New people

New Job tasks

New timeline

New deadline

New places to visits

New mamak place - Im going to leave "Sayang" and heading to "Fareed"

New office politic scenes

New bosses

New drama

New action

and New friends (perhaps- is there is anyone who can I called as Friends)

Everything will be so NEW!

8 months here..

I am practically happy with the people and the environment.

So imune with the workload which normally none. Heh!

and I am seriously having fun here.

As a matter of fact,

I really to move on.

My mind is stuffed with nothing.

I need the experience to make my resume look good in the future.

I love being here..

I love my colleague..(Arol, Lini, Eda, Fhaisal,Zul,Awe,Ecah,Shah, Admen, Izhar even Abu Zarim, Chew and Jijie- they are really great!)

I love my unlimited internet access.. heh!

I love this peaceful place..

However,

All of the above , can't be the reasons why I have to stay..

For the sake of responsibility and experience, (plus the money)...

I really have to move on..

Wish me luck..

8/9 will be my last day...

I am sad now...

Really am...

=(

That question.

People keep asking me the same thing.

The "Married" question- I mean.

When? When? When?

Geli kot?

Seriously, I hate that question because I do not have any plan towards that way.

It is not something that I wish at this certain point of time.

It is not even in my list.

What is wrong with all of you guys?

Heh?!

So, please ..stop asking the freaky question.

I am freaking tired to answer something which I dont freaking know how to answer that.

Really.

Bad drivers.

It was raining heavily and I was cruising the road carefully.
It was really heavy rain yesterday.
Listening to the 90's music as personal favorite, I can see some of the Malaysian's road users driving recklessly and stupidly. I mean- like real stupid and will be causing a danger to other drivers.

I wonder..

• Why must you suddenly speeding , after seeing someone from the next lane decided to change to your lane,even there are some space for them to fit in? Why? You just don't let other car to be in front of you? Even they given a signal before changing lanes?

• Why must you use your break ever two seconds even though there are no sign of the car in front of you will stop or slowing down their car? And there a lot of space in front of you? Like 20 meters away from the car in front? What are you afraid of?
  

• Why must you switch on your hazard light, Idiot?? It can be mistaken by other drivers. Is your car having a break down? No!

I do understand that it was raining crazily heavy. But can't you guys just drive nicely?
Surprisingly, those Idiots are not women.
They are Men!
See??
Who says women are bad drivers?
Today I realized that not only women.
Men - they are the same.
Heh!
;)

Properly.

Itew...

Leyhhh...

Tao....

and other Malay words that has been modified to cater new languange which I always called- Bahasa Sampah!

Its just so euw!

These kinds of word always appear in my mobile. E-mails and even Facebook comments.

I wonder why must those people modify those easy writing words to became the most complicated spelling?

Short form should stand as short form.

Itew? What the fcuk is that?

Tao? Is this a chinese word or what?

Leyhh?- It supposed to be a short form of "Boleh" But turn out to be so yuckie euww!

Write properly..and speak properly.

I dont entertain all this- Weyyhh! Leyyhh! Mana Tao or Itewww kinda people.

Its not cool. 

and It will never be Cool as you thought!

Trust me.

It'll make you sounds like an idiot who never get a chance to be in schools.

=)

The story of a ring

I never know how "merisik" could be a very big deal.

Heh?

Until I was there when Sarah's future M.I.L put the ring on her finger that Sunday everning..

As per said..I can feel the heartbeat.

Fast.

It is a big deal.

Serious deal.

Sarah already been booked! 

Hahaha- I was laughing loudly when her future M.I.L said

"Ni cincin kira booking la yer"

*Half taken- Has been booked!*

Funny. 

But that is the truth.

She has been booked till the enggagement day on 10.10.09

Soon.

I will be busy..again.

Congrats to Sarah and Dzul.

I am so happy for both of them.

*Cried happily*

Happy berweekend.

This Weekend going to be busy.

• Weddings
  
• Kenduris
  
• Merisik2s
  
• Birthdays.. (Happy birthday Keen Anif- Beloved 19)
  

Heh

I know I am going to be tired and the possibility of falling sick again is always there.

Oh..missing my Todt badly..

He is still in JB. Hope things will be ok with him..

*Cik Lea sayang Fardan banyak!*

Today,On the same date for next month

I hope that I still can write something here as I will be reporting on my first day.

Ehem.

Ok..

Happy berweekend!

Busybody

Membusy kan diri adalah benda yang patut aku buat kala ini..

Tapi ..

semalam ada seorang manusia yang busy body telah pun membuat onar didalam hati aku.

Cehh!

Sibuk2 nak comment kat wall post aku pada Maria.

Apa kes? Kalau aku kenal kau takpe..

Jangan sibuk2 nak menyampuk..

Yang penting..aku kenal kau pun tak..kau sibuk2 nak gelakkan aku nye wall post pada orang lain kenapa?

Ha...kan da kena pulang paku buah keras.

Pastu malu..delete semua comment kau disitu..sorry..you are out of the league!=D

Sibuknya lahhhhhhh!!!

Boleh blahhh!!!

Geli kot?

Nak terjah pun agak2 la..

Ni tidak..main belasah je..

Who the hell you think you are?

So, its a lesson for her..

Dont do that to anyone next time..

especially to those who you dont know in real life or those who are not ur friend in the bukumuka list. :)

Yes..I do understand..

Its just a fcuking bukumuka- like Maria said..but 

I just dont like it kot?

Please show some respect..

Jangan la ye ye sangat.

I dont know you- thats the main reason and who are you to laugh at my post when I called my friend by her real name?

Its much better than call her like calling cats or some kind of animated character rite?

Euw!

Im sorry for being an ass here..

But..
I just dont like ppl who dont know how respect people.=)

Keep that in  mind ya..

Thank you.